Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
the given line graph illustrates the information of the number of jobs in four sector of the exonomy in the us from 1960 to 2020
in the line graph the x-axis represents the year whereas y- axis represents the jobs in millions.
to begin with ,in 1960 the manufacturing company peovide jobs to 15 million people which is high when compare to the retailer where they hired 5 millions people .moreover the left agricultural field adopted similar to the retailers .the health care in 1960 offers job to 5 million individuals which was decreasing throughtout the years from 1980- 2020 .in contrast the manufacturing field shows the gradual increase of their employement which was upto 20 millions .suddenly their is a downward trend of agricultural fied from the year 1920- 2020.conversely the retailers has acceptional increase in their employment from the year [redacted phone] ,like wise health care also has an immense increase in the employment
in conclusion,overall all the four sectors,only two sectors which is manufacturing and retailing shows the gradual increase in their job sectors
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to present an overview and key features, fulfilling the basic requirements of Task 1. However, there are significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For example, the student states that healthcare 'was decreasing throughtout the years from 1980- 2020', whereas the graph clearly shows a steady and substantial increase from 5 million in 1980 to 16 million in 2020. Similarly, stating that agriculture showed a downward trend from '1920- 2020' contains a chronological error (the graph starts in 1960). Furthermore, the conclusion inaccurately claims that only manufacturing and retailing show a gradual increase, ignoring the significant growth in healthcare. These data misreadings and generalisations place the response in Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The formatting of the response severely hampers cohesion and readability. The entire text is written in lowercase letters with a complete lack of standard punctuation, capitalisation, and proper paragraph separation. Although there are some basic cohesive devices used such as 'to begin with', 'in contrast', and 'in conclusion', the lack of sentence demarcation and paragraph breaks results in a run-on structure. Ideas are presented sequentially, but the logical progression is frequently obscured by mechanical errors in referencing and punctuation. Overall, the organizational structure meets the criteria for Band 4.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with several spelling errors ('exonomy', 'peovide', 'throughtout', 'employement', 'fied', 'acceptional', 'like wise'). The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'gradual increase' and 'downward trend', but word choices and collocations are often awkward or inaccurate, such as 'the left agricultural field adopted similar to the retailers' and 'the manufacturing company peovide jobs'. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for conveying simple information, which aligns with Band 5 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Most sentences are simple or poorly controlled complex attempts. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the retailers has acceptional increase', 'only two sectors which is manufacturing') and incorrect prepositions ('jobs in four sector', 'jobs to 15 million people'). Furthermore, the complete absence of capitalisation and periods means there are no properly punctuated sentences, leading to frequent errors that cause difficulty for the reader and obscure meaning, fitting the Band 4 descriptor.
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