Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the employment rate in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020. The timeline is segmented as 1960,1980,2000 and 2020 in the graph with 20 years gap between each one of them. Whereas the number of jobs in each sector is represented in millions.

The manufacturing sector increased rapidly from 1960 peaked 20 million at 1980 from there it followed a gradual decrease and reached 13million in the year 2020. Among these sectors Agriculture has the lowest employment rate throughout. It faced a steep decrease from 1960 to 1980 from there it reached a all time low of 2 million.

Both retail and healthcare sector display a similar trend pattern and reached their peak employment rate of 16 million in the year 2020. Both sectors saw a gradual increase in employment from 1960 to 2020 while retail sector hiring rate increased only by 1 million in 20 years from 2000 to 2020. The all time low of both agriculture and retail sector is 6 million in the year 1960.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers all key features of the graph well, reporting data for all four sectors across the given years. The writer identifies the overall trends, such as the rise in manufacturing followed by a decline, the continuous growth of healthcare, and the relative stability or decline of agriculture. Key data points are cited correctly, including the peak of manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and the final figures for 2020. However, the response lacks a clear overview paragraph summarising the main overarching trends, which prevents it from reaching a higher band. Instead, observational details are woven immediately into the body paragraphs. To achieve a Band 7 or higher, the writer should include a distinct overview statement highlighting the most striking overall movements, such as the shift from manufacturing dominance to the growth of service sectors like healthcare and retail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay is generally coherent with a logical arrangement of information, dividing the sectors effectively across paragraphs. For instance, manufacturing and agriculture are grouped together, followed by retail and healthcare. However, paragraphing and mechanical cohesion are somewhat faulty. The text suffers from run-on sentences and punctuation errors, such as missing commas or full stops between clauses (e.g., 'increased rapidly from 1960 peaked 20 million at 1980 from there it followed...'). Cohesive devices are minimal, and referencing is sometimes clunky, relying heavily on repetitive transition phrases like 'from there it reached'. Paragraphing could also be more clearly structured by separating the introduction, body details, and an explicit overview. Overall, the organizational structure is visible, but the mechanical execution and linking require greater control to secure a higher band score.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully employing terms related to economic sectors and trends, such as 'employment rate', 'manufacturing sector', 'gradual decrease', and 'steep decrease'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text. For example, the student writes 'employment rate' when referring to absolute numbers of jobs in millions, and uses awkward phrasing like 'display a similar trend pattern' and 'hiring rate'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but grammatical constraints on word forms lead to awkward expressions such as 'reached a all time low'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points clearly, these lexical slips and the lack of more sophisticated, less common phrasing keep the lexical score at a Band 6 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. There are several run-on sentences and comma splices, such as 'The manufacturing sector increased rapidly from 1960 peaked 20 million at 1980 from there it followed a gradual decrease and reached 13million in the year 2020.' Additionally, missing prepositions and articles are evident, as seen in 'reached a all time low' and 'retail and healthcare sector display'. Complex structures often contain grammatical errors that disrupt the flow of reading. While communication is not severely impeded and the reader can follow the data points, the frequency of basic structural errors and punctuation flaws places this response firmly in the Band 5 category.

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