Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates the number of employment in four different sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that the manufacturing industries have highest employment figures initially. In contrast retail and agriculture industries had lowest starting figures but they both end with a sharp boost in their employment throughout the period.
In 1960, manufacturing industry ranked highest among all other categories provided approximately 15 million jobs. However this figures dropped gradually over the period in 2020. While the agriculture industry had fewer positions which is just over 5 million in 1960, this figure is no more maintained or dropped marginally in 2020.
The retail industry began with just over 5 million job positions which climbed significantly from 1960 to 2000. However this figure remained steady to its ending year 2020. As compared to health care industry beginning with lowest stats roundabout 0.3 million positions in 1960, which climbed sharply and touch to 15 million throughout the year 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides an overview of main trends, satisfying the core requirements of Task 1. However, there are notable inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the student states that retail and agriculture industries 'both end with a sharp boost in their employment', whereas agriculture actually declined significantly over the period down to 2 million. Additionally, the description of the healthcare sector ('roundabout 0.3 million') misreads the starting point in 1960, which was closer to 2 million. The overview is somewhat inaccurate regarding agriculture. These data misinterpretations prevent the response from achieving a higher band, placing it firmly at Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The text is organized into four paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs covering the categories. There is a basic attempt at logical sequencing, and paragraphs are used. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The use of cohesive devices like 'However' and 'While' is present, but referencing and transitions can be clumsy, such as 'this figure is no more maintained or dropped marginally in 2020.' The progression overall is somewhat disjointed due to the inaccuracies in data reporting, creating a coherent overall arrangement that suffers from mechanical and occasionally unclear links between sentences. This aligns well with Band 6.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'industries', 'employment figures', 'gradually', and 'significantly'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'number of employment' instead of 'number of employed people' or 'level of employment', and 'touch to 15 million' instead of 'reach 15 million'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but lexical control is loose in places, causing occasional strain for the reader. This performance reflects the criteria for Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing clauses introduced by 'While' and 'As compared to'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are missing plural/singular agreements and tense inconsistencies, such as 'manufacturing industries have highest' (omitting an article and tense mismatch with the past timeline), 'this figures dropped' (plural/singular mismatch), and awkward relative clauses like 'positions which is just over 5 million'. Punctuation errors also occur, such as missing commas after introductory phrases. These errors occasionally impede smooth reading, placing the response at Band 5.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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