Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line chart illustrates the number of employment in four different sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that the manufacturing industries have highest employment figures initially. In contrast retail and agriculture industries had lowest starting figures but they both end with a sharp boost in their employment throughout the period.
In 1960, manufacturing industry ranked highest among all other categories provided approximately 15 million jobs. However, this figures dropped gradually over the period in 2020. While, the agriculture industry had fewer positions which is just over 5 million in 1960 this figure is no more maintained or dropped marginally in 2020.
The retail industry began with just over 5 million job positions which climbed significantly from 1960 to 2000. However, this figure remained steady to its ending year 2020. As compared to health care industry beginning with lowest stats roundabout 0.3 million positions in 1960 which climbed sharply and touch to 15 million throughout the year 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response successfully covers all parts of the task by reporting the main features of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overview is provided, highlighting the initial dominance of manufacturing alongside significant changes in retail and agriculture. Key data points are selected and compared, such as manufacturing starting at 15 million and dropping, and healthcare climbing significantly to 16 million. However, there are minor inaccuracies in reporting specific figures; for instance, the student states retail agriculture industries had 'lowest starting figures' and mentions healthcare starting around '0.3 million' rather than the correct 2 million, and claims retail 'remained steady to its ending year' when it actually rose to 16 million. Despite these minor data reading slips, the response presents a clear overview of the main trends and satisfies the requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response is organized into a clear introductory paragraph, an overall summary paragraph, and body paragraphs that group the data. Progression is generally logical, moving from manufacturing and agriculture to retail and healthcare. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'In contrast', 'In 1960', 'However', and 'As compared to'. However, paragraphing is somewhat fragmented, with the body text split into short, separate blocks rather than cohesive analytical paragraphs. Additionally, referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as 'this figures' and 'this figure', which slightly disrupts the smooth flow of information. Overall, the organizational structure is coherent enough to guide the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic sectors and trends such as 'employment figures', 'industries', 'ranked highest', 'dropped gradually', and 'climbed significantly'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'number of employment' instead of 'level of employment', 'manufacturing industries have highest' (tense inconsistency), and 'stats' instead of figures or statistics. Less common vocabulary is attempted ('boost', 'marginally', 'undermined' implied), but inaccuracies in word choice and morphology (e.g., 'this figures dropped') prevent the score from reaching a higher band. Spelling is generally accurate throughout the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing subordinate clauses such as 'While, the agriculture industry had fewer positions which is just over 5 million...' and 'As compared to health care industry beginning with...'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing industries have', 'this figures dropped'), missing articles ('the agriculture industry', 'health care industry'), and sentence fragments or incomplete structures ('which is just over 5 million in 1960 this figure is no more maintained or dropped marginally'). Punctuation is also occasionally faulty, lacking commas after introductory phrases. These errors occasionally cause slight strain for the reader.
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