Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
the graph demostrates information about number of jobs in four departments of the economy in the united states from 1960 to 2020.
overall,in 1960 manufacturing industries was leading sector with far distance margin,whereas retail and agriculture had same numbers of employment and healthcare recorded the least jobs compared to others.
manufacturing industries had 15 million workers in 1960 which rose significantly by 5 millions in 1980 and drop to around 13 million by 2020.
retail and agriculture industries were at same figures from where retail sector climbed up significantly over the period of time and reached to approximately 16 millions by 2020,while agriculture dropped marginally by 1980 and were fluctuating with around 30 lakhs jobs by 2020.
in 1960 healthcare recorded the lowest figures when compared to all with approximately 3 million vaccancies,which hiked up marginally by 1980 and continue his upward trend by 2000 and 2020 with 15 million and just above respectively.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors across the specified time frame and provides a clear overall trend. The overview correctly highlights the dominant position of manufacturing in 1960 and the general shifts over the decades. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in reporting specific data points, such as stating agriculture 'were fluctuating with around 30 lakhs jobs by 2020' (the chart shows roughly 2 million, and 'lakhs' is culturally inappropriate for a US context). Furthermore, healthcare figures are slightly misread for 2000 and 2020. Despite these minor data discrepancies, the main features and comparisons are successfully reported, fulfilling the requirements for Band 6.5, rounded to 6.0 based on precision.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay is organized into four paragraphs, following a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific trends. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'whereas', 'over the period of time', and 'while'. However, paragraphing and punctuation mechanics show weaknesses—most notably the complete lack of capitalisation at the beginning of sentences ('the graph demostrates...', 'overall,in 1960...'). Additionally, referencing is occasionally imprecise ('compared to all', 'continue his upward trend'). Cohesion functions adequately to make the progression clear, though mechanical errors detract from the flow.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with terms like 'significantly', 'marginally', 'industries', and 'sector'. There are attempts at less common vocabulary, but word choice and collocation issues are present, such as 'far distance margin', 'hiking up', and the use of the regional term 'lakhs' instead of millions or exact figures. Spelling is mostly accurate except for a typo in the opening verb ('demostrates'). The lexical range is sufficient to convey the main information, but inaccuracies in register and collocation prevent a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures using subordinating conjunctions like 'whereas' and 'while'. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'manufacturing industries was leading' and 'agriculture... were fluctuating', as well as pronoun agreement errors like 'continue his upward trend' referring to healthcare. Punctuation and capitalization are heavily neglected, with sentences starting with lowercase letters throughout the text. While these errors do not completely obscure meaning, their frequency places the response firmly in the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range.
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