Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrate the information about the number of jobs in four distinct sectors included as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the US between the time period from 1960 and 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing sector rose from 15 million in 1960 to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before falling 14 million by 2020. Meanwhile agriculture sector witnessing gradual decline of 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 2020.
On the other hand, retail sector rose to 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. Followed by Healthcare sector gradually increase 3 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020 which make both the sectors maintain highest number of jobs in 2020
At last agriculture sector fall off by 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 2020 which makes agriculture sector lowest number of jobs in 2020. Additionally manufacturing initially peaked before dropping in the later years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The student covers all four sectors and reports the main trends and overall figures, satisfying the core requirements of Task 1. An overview is present, highlighting the main movements such as the rise of manufacturing followed by a drop, and the growth of retail and healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the student states that manufacturing fell to 14 million by 2020, whereas the graph shows approximately 13 million. Furthermore, the agriculture trend is repeated twice in a redundant manner at the end of the response ('At last agriculture sector fall off...'). Despite these minor data slips and redundancies, all parts of the visual information are addressed adequately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organised into an introduction and a body of paragraphs, providing a coherent overall arrangement. However, the progression is disrupted by repetition, notably the redundant inclusion of the agriculture trend in both the second and final paragraphs. Cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or misused, such as 'Meanwhile agriculture sector witnessing' which lacks a verb, and 'At last agriculture sector fall off'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas lacks smooth logical flow between sentences and paragraphs, pulling down the score for cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic sectors ('manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', 'healthcare') and directional trends ('rose', 'peak', 'decline', 'increase'). However, there are notable lexical and word-choice errors, such as 'The graph illustrate' (agreement error) and 'agriculture sector witnessing gradual decline' (missing auxiliary verb). Less common vocabulary is attempted with some inaccuracy, but meaning is generally clear despite these slips.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response exhibits a mix of simple and some complex sentence forms, such as 'before falling 14 million by 2020' and 'which make both the sectors maintain highest number of jobs in 2020'. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The graph illustrate'), missing prepositions ('falling 14 million', 'increase 3 million'), and tense inconsistencies. Punctuation is basic. While communication is not severely impeded, the frequency of grammatical errors keeps the score at band 5.0.
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