Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in the US in four distinct sectors of the economy over a period of 60 years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, It was evident that highest number of jobs in the US was accounted in manufacturing sectors, but after reaching its peak it decline consistently, while in the beginning healthcare and retail sectors was observed to be the lowest number of jobs but it rises dramatically and accounted for the largest number of jobs. In addition agriculture sector showed a downward trend of least number of jobs.

In 1960, the manufacturing sector was accounted for the highest number of jobs which was 15 millions and it increase significantly to 20 millions in 1980, after which it declined approximately to 13 millions in 2020. However, retail sector in 1960, was seen least number of jobs nearly 5 millions which rose drastically to 16 millions in the by the end of the period 2020.

Additionally, healthcare was the accounted for the lowest number of jobs 2 millions approximately in 1960, it increased dramatically reaching peak 16 millionsame as retail sector by 2020, whereas jobs in agriculture sectors in 1960 was stood at 6 millions but it dropped to 1 million by end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student covers all four economic sectors across the 60-year period and successfully highlights the main trends and key comparisons. An overview is provided in the second paragraph, identifying that manufacturing was initially the largest sector before declining, while healthcare and retail grew significantly to become the largest. The data cited is generally accurate and well-selected, matching the visual reference provided. However, there are a few minor inaccuracies in figures (for instance, agriculture dropped closer to 2 million by 2020 rather than 1 million, and the phrasing around initial values could be slightly sharper). Despite these minor lapses, all parts of the task are addressed competently, satisfying the requirements for a Band 6.5 or 7.0 descriptor.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is organized into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, followed by a clear overall summary, and two body paragraphs detailing specific data points. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In addition', 'However', and 'Additionally' are used to signal shifts between ideas, though some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive ('in 1960', 'by the end of the period 2020'). Paragraphing is appropriate, and the progression of information from a broad overview to specific sectoral details is logical and easy to follow, placing the essay comfortably in the Band 6.5 range.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully employing terms related to trends and data analysis such as 'fluctuate', 'decline consistently', 'rises dramatically', and 'downward trend'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'accounted in manufacturing sectors' instead of 'accounted for', 'was observed to be the lowest number of jobs', and awkward phrasing like 'reaching peak 16 millionsame as retail sector'. These minor lexical inaccuracies and spelling/spacing glitches prevent the score from reaching higher bands, though communication is never impeded.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting relative clauses and introductory dependent clauses. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('retail sectors was observed', 'healthcare was the accounted for'), missing articles ('in agriculture sectors', 'by end of the period'), and run-on sentences with comma splices ('in 1960, it increased dramatically...'). While the meaning remains clear throughout, the frequency of basic grammatical errors and awkward phrasing keeps this criterion at a Band 6.0.

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