Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates, the number of jobs in four fields of the economy which are, Manacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the US between the time period of 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and helthcre sectors acheived highest no of jobs while manufacturing and agriculture fileds declined there job market at the end of the period.
At the begining, in 1960 higest number of jobs allocated or manuacturing which is 15 million. Both retails and agriculture presented same amount of jobs which in approximately 6 million and the lowest job market presented for helthcare(3 million)
Manufacturing sector dramatically increase until 1980 which showed 20 million job vacancies but after 1980, it gradually decreased the job market in US while this tren coninued until the end. Both retail and agriculture fields followed same trend. Vacancies for these fields created whole period of time and at the end it shows approximately 16 million. Healthcare sector is the one of the worst job as shown. The vacancies are gradually decreaesed until 1980 and remain constant until 2000 which is 2 years of period. Ater that it dr
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover all parts of the task by identifying the main trends and sectors from the graph. An overview is provided, noting the high points for retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are notable factual misinterpretations of the data, particularly regarding the healthcare sector, which the student claims 'decreased until 1980' and was 'one of the worst job as shown', whereas the visual data actually shows healthcare rising steadily from 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the response is incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence ('Ater that it dr'), which prevents full development of the final trends.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay attempts a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific data points. However, paragraphing is underdeveloped, and the sudden cut-off at the end disrupts overall progression. Cohesive devices are used mechanically or incorrectly (e.g., 'At the begining...'), and referencing is sometimes confusing, such as confusing the trends of retail and healthcare with agriculture. While an underlying structure is discernible, the faulty execution and incomplete nature of the response limit its coherence.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student attempts a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as 'sector', 'vacancies', 'gradually decreased', and 'dramatically increase'. However, there are frequent spelling errors ('Manacturing', 'helthcre', 'fileds', 'begining', 'higest', 'manuacturing', 'retails', 'helthcare', 'tren', 'coninued', 'Ater') and awkward collocations like 'declined there job market'. The vocabulary is adequate for basic communication but is heavily impacted by inaccuracies in word choice and spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent errors in verb tense, prepositions, and sentence construction, such as 'which is 15 million' (referring to a past year), 'Both retails and agriculture presented same amount of jobs', and 'Both retail and agriculture fields followed same trend.' Punctuation is also problematic, including unnecessary commas (e.g., 'illustrates, the number'). Because the text trails off abruptly at the end, the grammatical range is severely restricted.
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