Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the numbers of employes in four sectors of economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall the jobs of healthcare and retails are increased, while in contrast the jobs of manufacturing and agriclture steadily decreased.

Focusing on the increases first the number of retail jobs was started at six million in 1960 over the six dacades it increases a signficant increase in number of jobs about sixteen million in 2020. Similarly the jobs of Healthcare also grew dramatically from two millions in 1960 to sixteen millions in 2020.

By contrast the numbers of jobs of Manufacturing and Agriulture decreased over the period of time. The jobs of Agriculture decresed continuously from apptoimately six millions in 1960 to about three millions in 2020. The number of jobs of Manufacturing increased steadily from fifteen millions in 1960 to twenty millions in 1980 and then it strated dereasing continuously about four decades approximtely 13 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student successfully covers all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overview is provided, noting the upward trends for healthcare and retail alongside the downward trends for manufacturing and agriculture. Key data points are correctly cited, such as retail and healthcare both reaching sixteen million in 2020, and agricultural jobs declining to about two or three million. However, there is a minor contradiction and inaccuracy in the description of manufacturing, where the student claims it 'increased steadily... and then it started decreasing continuously', but the initial sentence of that same paragraph paradoxically states 'the numbers of jobs of Manufacturing and Agriculture decreased over the period of time'. Furthermore, spelling errors in category names appear frequently. Despite these minor issues, the overall task is adequately addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged logically with an introduction, an overview paragraph, and separate body paragraphs for increasing and decreasing trends. Cohesive devices and transition markers such as 'Overall', 'Focusing on the increases first', 'Similarly', and 'By contrast' are used to guide the reader through the data. Paragraphing is used appropriately to structure the essay. However, referencing and progression are occasionally hampered by run-on sentences and punctuation lapses, such as the missing full stop in 'Overall the jobs of healthcare and retails are increased'. Paragraph transitions also feel slightly mechanical at times. Nevertheless, the progression of ideas remains clear throughout the response.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for describing graphical data, including terms like 'illustrates', 'dramatically', 'decreased continuously', and 'period of time'. However, there are numerous spelling errors and inaccurate word forms throughout the text, including 'employes', 'retails' (instead of retail), 'agriclture', 'dacades', 'signficant', 'apptoimately', 'strated', 'dereasing', and 'approximtely'. These spelling mistakes and minor word choice errors occasionally distract the reader, though they do not severely impede communication. Less common vocabulary is attempted but lacks precision due to these orthographic flaws, placing this criterion solidly in the band 6 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting relative clauses and participial phrases, such as 'The line graph illustrates the numbers of employes in four sectors...'. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are several run-on sentences lacking proper punctuation, such as 'Focusing on the increases first the number of retail jobs was started at six million in 1960 over the six dacades it increases a signficant increase...'. Tense usage is also mixed, shifting awkwardly between past and present forms. Frequent errors in prepositions and verb forms, such as 'was started' and 'it increases', reduce accuracy, though meaning is usually recoverable.

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