Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the numbers of employees in four sectors of economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.
Overall the jobs of healthcare and retails are increased, while in contrast the jobs of manufacturing and agriculture steadily decreased.
Focusing on the increases first the number of retail jobs was started at six million in 1960 over the six decades it increases a signficant increase in number of jobs about sixteen million in 2020. Similarly the jobs of Healthcare also grew dramatically from two millions in 1960 to sixteen millions in 2020.
By contrast the numbers of jobs of Manufacturing and Agriculture decreased over the period of time. The jobs of Agriculture decreased continuously from approximately six millions in 1960 to about three millions in 2020. The number of jobs of Manufacturing increased steadily from fifteen millions in 1960 to twenty millions in 1980 and then it strated decreasing continuously about four decades approximately 13 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors. An overview is provided, stating that healthcare and retail jobs increased while manufacturing and agriculture declined. Key data points are cited accurately, such as retail and healthcare both reaching sixteen million in 2020, and agriculture dropping to three million. However, there is a minor contradiction in the final paragraph regarding manufacturing, where the writer states it 'increased steadily' before 1980, but misphrases the subsequent trend as starting to decrease 'about four decades approximately 13 millions in 2020'. Overall, the data selection is sound and adequately covers the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs dedicated to the contrasting trends. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the data, such as 'Overall', 'Focusing on the increases first', and 'By contrast'. However, some of the linking phrases are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'over the six decades it increases a signficant increase in number of jobs about'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different groups of trends, contributing to an overall coherent arrangement even though sentence-level cohesion occasionally feels strained.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully employing terms related to economic sectors and trends like 'employees', 'sector', 'increased', and 'decreased'. Less common lexical items are attempted, including 'dramatically', 'signficant' (spelled 'signficant'), and 'continuously'. However, there are notable spelling errors and awkward word choices, such as 'retails' instead of 'retail' and 'numbers of jobs of Manufacturing' which detracts from precision. The vocabulary is minimally sufficient to convey the information, but word choice errors prevent it from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like 'while in contrast the jobs of manufacturing and agriculture steadily decreased'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses, prepositions, and missing auxiliary verbs, such as 'the number of retail jobs was started at' and 'it increases a signficant increase'. Punctuation is also weak, with missing commas after introductory transition phrases like 'Overall' and 'Focusing on the increases first'. These errors occasionally cause minor bumps in reading, placing the grammar firmly at Band 5.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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