Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the numbers of employees in four sectors of economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.
Overall the jobs of healthcare and retail are increased, while in contrast the jobs of manufacturing and agriculture steadily decreased.
Focusing on the increases first the number of retail jobs was started at six million in 1960 over the six decades it increases a signficant increase in number of jobs about sixteen million in 2020. Similarly the jobs of Healthcare also grew dramatically from two millions in 1960 to sixteen millions in 2020.
By contrast the numbers of jobs of Manufacturing and Agriculture decreased over the period of time. The jobs of Agriculture decreased continuously from approximately six millions in 1960 to about three millions in 2020. The number of jobs of Manufacturing increased steadily from fifteen millions in 1960 to twenty millions in 1980 and then it started decreasing continuously about four decades approximately 13 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The student successfully addresses the prompt by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overview is provided in the second sentence, noting the upward trends for healthcare and retail and the downward trends for manufacturing and agriculture, which satisfies the requirements for Task Achievement. The data cited are generally accurate and aligned with the provided visual information, such as retail and healthcare rising to about sixteen million by 2020, and agriculture dropping to around two to three million. However, the development contains some minor inaccuracies in phrasing and data interpretation, such as stating that manufacturing jobs 'increased steadily from fifteen millions in 1960 to twenty millions in 1980' when this was an initial rise before falling. Overall, all parts of the task are covered well.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a clear overarching structure with an introductory sentence, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs dedicated to contrasting trends. However, the cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, sentences within the body paragraphs lack smooth transitions, and phrases like 'Focusing on the increases first' feel a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas could be better managed. Referencing is mostly clear, but repetitive sentence openings (e.g., 'The jobs of...', 'The numbers of jobs of...') hinder the overall flow and progression of the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, such as 'illustrates', 'steadily decreased', and 'dramatically'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('signficant') and awkward lexical choices or word forms, such as 'numbers of employees in four sectors of economy' (missing article) and repetitive use of 'jobs of'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with some inaccuracy. While communication is not impeded and the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main trends, the presence of word-choice errors and repetition prevents the score from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over tense usage (past simple for historical data). However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues, such as missing commas after introductory phrases ('Overall the jobs...'), run-on clauses without proper punctuation ('...over the six decades it increases a signficant increase...'), and incorrect verb forms ('it increases' instead of 'it experienced'). The majority of sentences contain minor structural or agreement errors, though these do not completely impede communication. Punctuation is largely neglected, which affects readability.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.