Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the numbers of employees in four sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.
Overall the jobs of healthcare and retail increased, while in contrast the jobs of manufacturing and agriculture steadily decreased.
Focusing on the increases first the number of retail jobs started at six million in 1960 and the six decades it increases a signficantly increase in number of jobs about sixteen million in 2020. Similarly the jobs of Healthcare also grew dramatically from two million in 1960 to sixteen million in 2020.
By contrast the numbers of jobs of Manufacturing and Agriculture decreased over the period of time. The jobs of Agriculture decreased continuously from approximately six million in 1960 to about three million in 2020. The number of jobs of Manufacturing increased steadily from fifteen million in 1960 to twenty million in 1980 and then it strated decreasing continuously about four decades about 13 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The student covers all parts of the task by reporting the main features and trends of all four sectors across the timeline. An overview is successfully provided in the second paragraph, outlining the overall upward and downward trends. Key data points are correctly cited, such as retail and healthcare both reaching approximately 16 million in 2020 starting from 6 million and 2 million respectively. Agriculture is correctly noted as dropping from 6 million to 2 million. However, there is a minor error in data reporting regarding manufacturing, where the student states it 'increased steadily from fifteen million in 1960 to twenty million in 1980 and then it started decreasing', which is mostly accurate based on the chart, though minor phrasing issues occur. The main trends and comparisons are well developed overall, fitting the Band 6.5 to 7.0 criteria.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is logically organised into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs focusing on the increasing and decreasing sectors respectively. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader, such as 'Overall', 'Focusing on the increases first', and 'By contrast'. However, referencing and cohesion can be somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., repeatedly starting sentences with 'The jobs of...'). Paragraphing is appropriate, and there is a clear logical progression throughout the text. These features place the response firmly in Band 6.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'sectors', 'economy', 'dramatically', and 'continuously'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors, such as 'signficantly' instead of 'significant', and awkward phrasing like 'the six decades it increases a signficantly increase in number of jobs about sixteen million'. The use of less common vocabulary is attempted but often marred by inaccuracies in collocation or word form. This reflects the Band 6 descriptor where vocabulary is adequate for the task but contains mechanical errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'The line graph illustrates the numbers of employees in four sectors...' and 'The jobs of Agriculture decreased continuously from approximately six million in 1960 to about three million in 2020.' There are several grammatical errors and punctuation omissions, particularly missing commas after introductory phrases (e.g., 'Overall the jobs...') and verb tense/form confusion ('it increases a signficantly increase', 'strated decreasing'). Despite these errors, communication is rarely impeded, and meaning remains clear throughout, aligning well with Band 6.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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