Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the numbers of employees in four sectors of economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the jobs of healthcare and retail are increased, while in contrast the jobs of manufacturing and agriculture steadily decreased.

Focusing on the increases first the number of retail jobs was started at six million in 1960 over the six decades it increases a signficant increase in number of jobs about sixteen million in 2020. Similarly the jobs of Healthcare also grew dramatically from two million in 1960 to sixteen million in 2020.

By contrast, the numbers of jobs of Manufacturing and Agriculture decreased over the period of time. The jobs of Agriculture decreased continuously from approximately six million in 1960 to about three million in 2020. The number of jobs of Manufacturing increased steadily from fifteen million in 1960 to twenty million in 1980 and then it strated decreasing continuously about four decades approximately 13 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student successfully covers all four sectors of the economy shown in the graph and provides a clear overall trend. The overview correctly identifies that healthcare and retail increased while manufacturing and agriculture decreased. Key data points are generally reported accurately, such as retail and healthcare both reaching sixteen million in 2020, and agriculture declining to about three million. However, there is a minor factual contradiction in the final sentence regarding manufacturing, where the student states it 'increased steadily... to twenty million in 1980 and then it started decreasing continuously... approximately 13 millions in 2020,' which contains a minor grammatical slip in the phrasing ('increased steadily' followed by a decrease) and a slight confusion in data reporting, although the general trajectory is captured. Overall, the task is adequately addressed with appropriate selection of main features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is organized into four distinct paragraphs, following a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing the upward and downward trends respectively. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader, such as 'Overall,' 'Focusing on the increases first,' and 'By contrast.' However, paragraphing and sentence-level cohesion are somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., starting multiple sentences with 'The jobs of...'). Furthermore, referencing and logical progression are slightly weakened by run-on sentences and punctuation errors, such as 'the number of retail jobs was started at six million in 1960 over the six decades it increases a signficant increase...' which lacks clear clause separation. Overall coherence is maintained, but cohesive links require smoother integration.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully using terms related to economic sectors ('manufacturing,' 'retail,' 'agriculture,' 'healthcare') and trend language ('grew dramatically,' 'decreased continuously'). However, there are notable spelling errors ('signficant,' 'strated') and frequent awkward word choices and repetitions, such as 'the jobs of retail' and 'the numbers of jobs of Manufacturing.' While the student attempts less common lexical items, lack of precision and collocation errors prevent the response from achieving a higher band score. Communication is not impeded, but lexical control is inconsistent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and time markers. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in verb tense, voice, and structure. Examples include passive/active confusion ('the numbers of employees... were increased,' 'was started'), missing prepositions, and run-on sentences ('...over the six decades it increases a signficant increase in number of jobs about sixteen million in 2020'). There are also punctuation lapses throughout the text. These errors require some effort from the reader to parse, placing the response firmly in the band 5 range for grammar.

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