Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the change in employement figures across four different sectors of the economy ( Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare ) in America between 1960 and 2020.

In 1960, Manufacturing sector was the dominant sector, around 15 million people were do that job. Moreover, the figure ballooned sharply to 5 million in 1980. after that it decreased sharply to 13 million in the following years. Furthermore, in Retail sector nearly 6 million workers were intertested to did that job. moreover, the figure climed enormously to 15 million in 2000 and nearly 16 million in 2020.

In Agriculture sector, around 2.5 million workers did that job in 1960. Although the figure climed significantly to 5 million in 1980 and around 16 million in 2020. Nevertheless, The Healthcare sector was the least prominent, nearly 6 million people were participated in that job and the the numbers dropped slightly to 3 million in 1980 and it remained constant till 2000. unfortunately, there was a steady decline of 2 million in the following year.

Overall, the Manufacturing sector was the most dominant sector among other three of them. Moreover, less workers were participated in Healthcare sector and it remained constant from 1980 to 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The student attempts to cover all four sectors across the given period, but contains numerous data inaccuracies and factual confusion when compared to the visual source. For example, the writer states that Manufacturing figures 'ballooned sharply to 5 million in 1980' (which contradicts the chart showing a rise to 20 million from 15 million). Furthermore, Agriculture and Healthcare data are mixed up in the third paragraph, reporting that Agriculture 'climed significantly to 5 million in 1980 and around 16 million in 2020' (which actually describes Healthcare) and that Healthcare dropped to 3 million and had 'a steady decline of 2 million in the following year'. The overview attempts to summarise main trends but contains contradictions. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed due to significant data misreporting.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response is divided into four paragraphs, including an introduction and an overall summary, which shows an attempt at a logical structure. However, the progression within paragraphs is heavily disrupted by poor referencing, inaccurate data, and mechanical or misused cohesive devices (such as 'Moreover', 'after that', 'Furthermore', and 'unfortunately'). The pronoun referencing is frequently unclear, and sentences often feel disjointed. Paragraphing is present, but the internal logical flow fails to maintain clear progression due to the confused presentation of facts.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, heavily reliant on phrases like 'do that job' and 'workers were intertested to did that job'. While there are attempts at less common lexical items such as 'dominant', 'prominent', 'ballooned', and 'decline', these are frequently marred by awkward collocations, incorrect word forms ('intertested to did', 'climed'), and spelling errors ('employement', 'climed'). The limited range and frequent lexical inaccuracies cause strain for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent, noticeable grammatical errors, particularly regarding tense consistency, verb forms, and sentence fragments (e.g., 'around 15 million people were do that job', 'workers were intertested to did that job', 'Although the figure climed significantly to 5 million... and around 16 million in 2020' which forms an incomplete sentence fragment). Punctuation is also faulty with inappropriate capitalization ('Manufacturing', 'Retail', 'Agriculture', 'Healthcare' mid-sentence) and spacing issues around commas and brackets.

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