Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph shows the information about the number of jobs in four in four sectors of the economy in the United States between the year 1960 and 2020.

In 1960, the number of in Manufacturing sector were 15 million. Number of jobs in Reatil sector and Agriculture sector were around 6 million and going towards Healthcare, the number of jobs were around 2 million.

In year 2020, the jobs in the sector of Manufacturing was fallen to 13 million and in Agriculture sector, the jobs have gardually decreased to 1.5 million however jobs in the sector of Retail and Healthcare have grown to 11 million.

The overall results says that due to high compitetion and less facilities, the jobs in the Manufacturing sector and Agriculture sector has fallen. Despite having more compitetion, the jobs in Retail sector and Healthcare sector has increased as there are many facilities available and people are rushing towards them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, presenting data for 1960 and 2020. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the student states that retail and healthcare jobs in 2020 grew to 11 million, whereas the graph indicates retail reached 16 million and healthcare reached 16 million by 2020 (11 million was approximately the figure for healthcare in the year 2000). Furthermore, the fourth paragraph introduces external speculation and generalisations about 'high competition and less facilities' rather than sticking strictly to the visual data provided. An overview is attempted in the final paragraph, but the task response lacks a clear, comprehensive summary of the overall trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response is divided into four paragraphs, which provides a basic organisational structure. There is an attempt at chronological progression, moving from 1960 to 2020. However, cohesive devices are limited and at times repetitive or awkwardly used, such as 'and going towards Healthcare'. Paragraphing is applied, but the separation of ideas lacks sophisticated logical flow, particularly in the concluding section where the writer introduces subjective commentary rather than cohesive data grouping. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the overall progression is somewhat disjointed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with domain-specific terms such as 'Manufacturing sector', 'Retail sector', and 'Agriculture sector' employed correctly. However, there are noticeable lexical errors, including spelling mistakes ('Reatil', 'gardually', 'compitetion') and awkward phrasing like 'the number of in Manufacturing sector were'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and the writer relies on basic descriptive verbs and repeated terms, which restricts the lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several clear subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'the number of in Manufacturing sector were' (should be 'was') and 'jobs in the Manufacturing sector and Agriculture sector has fallen' (should be 'have fallen'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, and the errors present do not entirely obscure the meaning, but they occur frequently enough to impede smooth reading in places.

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