Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of employees in four different sectors in the United State between from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in Manufacturing and Healthcare increased, while in contrast the number of jobs of Retail and Agriculture decreased.
For beginning, the number of jobs of Manufacturing in 1960 six million and increased steadily over six decades to approximately sixteen million in 2020. The jobs of Retail about three million in 1960 and steadily increased over two decades for 5 million and steadily increased four decades to reached about sixteen million in 2020.
In contrast, the number of jobs in Manufacturing was fifteen million in 1960 and dramatically increased decades to reached 20 million, and steadily decreased over four decades about 13 million in 2020. While, the number of jobs in Agriculture decreased steadily and six million in 1960 to 3 million over the six decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover all parts of the prompt by describing the four sectors across the given period, but it contains major factual errors and contradictions regarding the data. For instance, the student states that Retail and Agriculture decreased overall, whereas the visual data shows Retail increased significantly from 6 to 16 million. Furthermore, the description of Manufacturing and Retail figures is confused; the student writes 'the number of jobs of Manufacturing in 1960 six million' when Manufacturing started at 15 million, and later mixes up data categories ('the number of jobs in Manufacturing was fifteen million... to reached 20 million' which actually describes Healthcare or Retail trends at different points). Because the information reported frequently contradicts the source graph and lacks a fully accurate overview, the task achievement is limited.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, starting with an introduction and a brief overview, followed by body paragraphs. However, the logical progression is severely disrupted by confusing sentence structures and inaccurate data reporting. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as starting sentences with 'For beginning' or 'While, the number of jobs...'. Referencing between sentences is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which sector or time period is being discussed. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion and logical sequencing are weak.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The lexical range is very basic and repetitive, heavily relying on words like 'number', 'jobs', 'increased', and 'decreased'. There are also frequent word-choice and preposition errors, such as 'between from 1960' and 'jobs of Retail'. Vocabulary lacks precision and fails to demonstrate flexibility in reporting trends or data. While some basic topic-related vocabulary is present, the frequent inaccuracies in collocation and vocabulary choice restrict the communication of precise data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammar is characterized by frequent structural errors and incomplete clauses. Many sentences lack main verbs or proper grammatical links, such as 'The jobs of Retail about three million in 1960 and steadily increased...' and '...and steadily increased four decades to reached about sixteen million'. There is a very limited range of accurate complex structures, and basic grammatical errors occur in almost every sentence. These errors frequently impede communication and cause difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning.
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