Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of employees in four different sectors in the United States between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in Manufacturing and Healthcare increased, while the number of jobs of Retail and Agriculture decreased.
To begin, the number of jobs of Healthcare increased steadily reaching three million in 1960 to 16 miilion approximately over six decades. The number of jobs of Retail steadily increased six million in 1960 and reaching to 16 million in 2020 over six decades.
In contrast, the number of jobs in Manufacturing was fifteen million in 1960 and dramatically increased decades to reached 20 million, and steadily decreased over four decades about 13 million in 2020. While, the number of jobs in Agriculture decreased steadily and six million in 1960 to 3 million over the six decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the overview contains a factual error regarding the trends: it states that Retail and Agriculture both decreased, whereas the graph clearly shows that Retail increased significantly from 6 million to 16 million jobs. Furthermore, the word count requirement of at least 150 words is not met, as the response contains only 137 words, which negatively impacts the task completion score. While the body paragraphs report some specific figures such as Manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and Healthcare rising to 16 million, the data referencing contains inaccuracies, such as stating that Healthcare started at 'three million in 1960' when the graph shows 2 million. These data inaccuracies and the under-length penalty restrict the score.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The text has an identifiable overall structure, beginning with an introductory paraphrase, followed by an overview paragraph, and body details. However, logical progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and poor sentence construction, particularly in the body paragraphs where sentences begin repeatedly with 'The number of jobs of...'. Cohesive devices are minimal and basic, such as 'To begin' and 'In contrast'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas is somewhat disjointed, leading to an overall coherence that is occasionally difficult to follow. Referencing and substitution are weak, resulting in mechanical and repetitive transitions between sentences.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for conveying basic trends, employing terms such as 'illustrates', 'steadily increased', 'dramatically increased', and 'decreased'. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'number of jobs of Retail' instead of 'number of jobs in Retail', and spelling/form errors like 'miilion'. The range of vocabulary is rather limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic descriptors without demonstrating a flexible or precise command of less common lexical items appropriate for academic reporting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors and awkward prepositions, such as 'reaching three million in 1960 to 16 miilion approximately' and 'decreased steadily and six million in 1960 to 3 million'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but sentence boundaries and clause linking are occasionally faulty, as seen in 'dramatically increased decades to reached 20 million'. These recurring structural and grammatical errors occasionally impede smooth reading and place the response firmly in the Band 5 category.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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