Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of employees in four different sectors in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in Manufacturing and Healthcare increased, while the number of jobs of Retail and Agriculture decreased.

To begin, the number of jobs in Healthcare increased steadily reaching three million in 1960 to million approximately to six decades. The number of jobs of Retail steadily increased six million in 1960 and reach to 16 million in 2020 through six decades.

In contrast, the number of jobs in Manufacturing was fifteen million in 1960 and dramatically increased to reaching 20 million, and steadily decreased over four decades about 13 million in 2020. While, the number of jobs in Agriculture decreased steadily and six million in 1960 to 3 million over the six decades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four sectors, noting increases in Manufacturing and Healthcare and decreases in Retail and Agriculture. However, the overview contains a factual inaccuracy, as Retail actually experienced a substantial increase over the period rather than a decrease. Furthermore, several data points are misread or confused, such as the statement that Healthcare reached 'three million in 1960' when it started at around two million, and phrasing regarding Retail's trajectory. Because the response falls below the mandatory 150-word limit at 135 words, it is additionally penalised for task length under official guidelines, preventing it from reaching a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay attempts a logical structure with an introductory sentence, an overview, and body paragraphs dedicated to different sectors. However, paragraphing is underdeveloped, with some ideas clumped together and lacking clear transitional links. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes awkward, such as 'To begin' used for body paragraph opening and repetitive use of 'through six decades' or 'over the six decades'. Referencing and logical progression are hindered by imprecise phrasing, making the overall flow somewhat mechanical and difficult to follow in places.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for discussing economic sectors and numerical trends, including terms like 'employees', 'sectors', 'steadily increased', and 'dramatically increased'. However, there are notable lexical and collocational inaccuracies, such as 'number of jobs of Retail' instead of 'jobs in retail', and awkward expressions like 'reaching three million in 1960 to million approximately to six decades'. Less common vocabulary is attempted but frequently mishandled, which occasionally impedes clarity and restricts the lexical score to a Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating past tense verbs and time phrases. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in prepositions, clause structures, and sentence boundaries. Examples include 'reaching three million in 1960 to million approximately', 'reach to 16 million in 2020 through six decades', and dangling fragments such as 'While, the number of jobs in Agriculture decreased steadily and six million in 1960 to 3 million'. These persistent errors cause frequent strain for the reader.

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