Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of employees in four different sectors in the United States between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in Manufacturing and Healthcare increased, while the number of jobs of Retail and Agriculture decreased.
To begin, the number of jobs in Healthcare increased steadily reaching three million in 1960 to million approximately to six decades. The number of jobs in Retail steadily increased six million in 1960 and to 16 million in 2020 through six decades.
In contrast, the number of jobs in Manufacturing was fifteen million in 1960 and dramatically increased to 20 million, and steadily decreased over four decades about 13 million in 2020. While the number of jobs in Agriculture decreased steadily and six million in 1960 to 3 million over the six decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response makes an attempt to summarise the main features of the line graph, correctly identifying general trends such as the increase in Healthcare and the decrease in Agriculture. However, the overview contains factual inaccuracies; for instance, it states that Manufacturing increased, whereas the graph clearly shows it peaked in 1980 and then declined significantly, and it incorrectly claims Retail decreased when it actually rose substantially. Furthermore, the body paragraphs contain confusing data reporting, such as 'reaching three million in 1960 to million approximately to six decades.' Additionally, the response falls short of the 150-word minimum, containing only 133 words. These shortcomings in data interpretation and task length limit the score to Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into a clear introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for the different economic sectors. Basic cohesive devices are attempted, such as 'Overall,' 'To begin,' and 'In contrast.' However, progression is frequently hindered by awkward phrasing and referencing errors, particularly in the third paragraph where sentences become disjointed and difficult to follow. Paragraphing is present, but the internal logical flow of the body paragraphs lacks cohesion and clarity. Overall arrangement is somewhat coherent, but mechanical and faulty phrasing pull the cohesion down to Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The lexical range is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic vocabulary such as 'number of jobs,' 'increased,' and 'decreased.' There are notable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'reaching three million in 1960 to million approximately to six decades' and 'decreased steadily and six million.' While the vocabulary is adequate to convey the basic topic of employment sectors, the frequent lexical inaccuracies and lack of sophisticated phrasing restrict the score to Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but many of the complex constructions are marred by serious grammatical errors and missing prepositions. Examples include 'the number of jobs of Retail and Agriculture decreased' (preposition error) and 'the number of jobs in Healthcare increased steadily reaching three million in 1960 to million approximately to six decades' (ungrammatical structure and syntax). Frequent errors in basic sentence construction cause difficulty for the reader and impede comprehension in several places, aligning the grammar with Band 5.0 descriptors.
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