Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of employees in four different sectors in the United States between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in Manufacturing and Healthcare rose, while the number of jobs in Retail and Agriculture declined.
In contrast, the number of jobs in Healthcare grew steadily from three million in 1960 to approximately sixteen million over six decades. The number of jobs in Retail grew gradually from six million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020 through six decades.
In contrast, the number of jobs in Manufacturing was fifteen million in 1960 and climbed dramatically to 20 million, and declined steadily over four decades to 13 million in 2020. While the number of jobs in Agriculture fell steadily from six million in 1960 to 3 million over the six decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student provides a general overview of the trends and attempts to report key features from the chart, such as the overall rise in Manufacturing and Healthcare and the decline in Retail and Agriculture. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, the overview incorrectly states that Manufacturing jobs rose overall, whereas the graph shows an overall decline from 15 million in 1960 to 13 million in 2020 after a peak in 1980. Furthermore, the response is under-length at 134 words, falling short of the 150-word minimum requirement. This impacts task completion and prevents the score from reaching higher bands. To improve, ensure all data points are checked carefully against the prompt and write at least 150 words.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay is divided into short paragraphs, beginning with a clear introduction and overall statement. However, the organization suffers from repetitive and confusing transitional phrases. The writer uses the phrase "In contrast" multiple times in succession, including once where it introduces a parallel trend rather than a contrasting one (e.g., "In contrast, the number of jobs in Healthcare grew steadily..."). Paragraphing is also fragmented, with single sentences standing alone as paragraphs. Cohesive devices are thus somewhat mechanical and misapplied. To improve, use logical transitions that accurately reflect the relationship between ideas and group related information into cohesive, well-developed paragraphs.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms related to economic sectors and trends such as "employees," "rose," "declined," "grew steadily," and "fell steadily." However, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is noticeable repetition of basic verbs and phrases like "the number of jobs in." The word choice contains minor inaccuracies, such as stating Healthcare grew from "three million in 1960" when the graph actually indicates a starting point of approximately two million. To achieve a higher band, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of synonyms, less common lexical items, and more precise quantitative descriptions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as "While the number of jobs in Agriculture fell steadily from six million in 1960 to 3 million over the six decades." Grammatical control is generally fair, with most simple sentences being accurate. However, there is a minor error with punctuation and sentence fragments, and the use of dependent clauses occasionally results in slight clumsiness. Errors do not impede communication, but the range of complex structures remains somewhat restricted. To improve, the student should practise more varied sentence constructions and ensure subordinate clauses are correctly attached and punctuated.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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