Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
In 1960 to 1980 the most of jobs are related to Manufacturing meanwhile Agriculture was at lowest demand in market and other two Healthcare and Retail both were average or normal in demand at that time.From 2000 to 2020 there were some differences as agriculture and manufacturing going down in graph its mean their demand were going low and on the other hand healthcare and retail were improved.so year by year market want different things different demands.The economy of USA grow but in different areas some time in agriculture ,some time in healthcare as we can see in graph.Its important to understand the values that change after time or year because nothing will stay permanent.Everthing and everyone needs change or some different things or environment.As in graph manufacturing were in demand in 1060 to 1980 ,its high time for manufacturer to earn and get stable life.So we needs to make our selfes to adjust with situations nad learn different skills.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the task by discussing trends in the four sectors of the economy between 1960 and 2020. However, the student includes personal commentary, philosophical reflections, and advice ('So we needs to make our selfes to adjust with situations...'), which are entirely inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report. Furthermore, many details are vague, and some data points are inaccurate or poorly described (e.g., stating manufacturing was in demand in '1060'). While some main features are mentioned, the lack of an objective academic tone and the inclusion of irrelevant personal conclusions significantly pull down the score. It falls into the Band 4 descriptor because the response is heavily impacted by irrelevant personal thoughts instead of purely summarising and reporting the visual data.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay lacks standard academic paragraphing, presenting most of the text as a single, disorganised block of writing. Cohesive devices are minimal, mechanical, or used inappropriately (e.g., 'meanwhile', 'on the other hand', 'so year by year'). The logical progression is frequently disrupted by sudden shifts into personal opinions and philosophical advice about changing environments and life skills. Referencing and linking between sentences often feel forced or unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow a clear structural framework. This level of organisation aligns best with Band 4 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and heavily repetitive, with frequent word choice and collocation errors (e.g., 'lowest demand in market', 'market want different things', 'stable life'). The student attempts some topic-specific vocabulary related to the prompt, such as 'manufacturing', 'agriculture', 'healthcare', and 'retail', but their control over lexical features remains limited. Spelling errors ('Everthing', 'selfes', 'nad') and awkward phrasing strain the reader's understanding. This performance reflects the Band 4 criteria, where vocabulary is basic and errors frequently cause strain.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the text. The response relies mostly on simple and faulty complex sentence structures, featuring frequent errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and articles (e.g., 'the most of jobs are', 'agriculture and manufacturing going down in graph its mean their demand were going low', 'manufacturing were in demand'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after punctuation marks and run-on structures. These persistent errors impede smooth reading and place the response firmly in the Band 4 category for grammatical range and accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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