Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates data about jobs proportions in four different fields on US economy from 1960 to 2020. In addtion the numbers of job is represented by millions.
Overview, retail and healthcare provided the highest growth rate while domenating the job market, althrough the declining trend can be seen in manufacturing and agriculture, thise two have not growth in figure.
while reatil and healthcare showed surge rosed from 1960, but reatil is higher with aproximate 5 milliion jobs then manufacture with only around 2 million at 1960.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, coming in at only 88 words. Consequently, the coverage of the task is severely limited. While the student attempts an overview and mentions some trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare alongside the decline in manufacturing and agriculture, the information is disjointed, contains numerous factual inaccuracies regarding the data, and lacks a fully developed summary of the main features.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The essay is severely underdeveloped and lacks proper paragraphing, consisting instead of a few fragmented sentences. Transitional markers are poorly used or misspelled, such as 'In addtion' and 'althrough'. There is no clear logical progression or effective organisational structure, making it difficult to follow the relationships between the data points presented.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The lexical range is very basic and repetitive. The student uses incorrect word forms and collocations, such as 'jobs proportions', 'fields on US economy', and 'domenating the job market'. Spelling mistakes are frequent, including 'addtion', 'althrough', 'thise', 'reatil', and 'aproximate'. Vocabulary control is weak throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
Grammatical control is poor, with multiple serious structural errors. Examples include 'the numbers of job is represented by millions' (subject-verb agreement), 'thise two have not growth in figure' (tense and word form), and 'while reatil and healthcare showed surge rosed from 1960' (faulty dependent clause structure). Simple sentences are handled poorly, and complex structures are unsuccessful and lead to frequent comprehension difficulties.
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