Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The given line graph illustrates data on proportions of job at four major sites in economy of US at 1960 to 2020. where numbers of jobs are in millions.

Overview, retails and healthcare are consider to be highest at end by providing significant growth rate, on the another hand similar trend can see in manufacturing, but as opposite. Moreover, agriculture is the only one with stable development, and with litter fall at initial years.

In 1960, retail and healthcare had a same pase of growth, with hit point above 10 million at 2000.Whereas retail begin around 5 million and healthcare blow 5, but bouth reached at same point in 2020 by near 15 million. In additon their is a small amount of gap around 5 million in between retail and healthcare which was coved by time.

Althrough, manufacturing increased by 15 to 20 million at 1980, agriculture falldown by 5 to 3 million aproximated.Afterwards agriculture have fixed development blow 5 million from 1980 to 2020. However manufacturing had huge decrieased reach point upper near 10 million at 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The student attempts to cover the main trends in the line graph, noting the general trajectories of manufacturing, retail, healthcare, and agriculture. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting and reading. For instance, the text states that retail and healthcare 'had a same pase of growth, with hit point above 10 million at 2000' and reached '15 million' in 2020, whereas the chart shows healthcare rising from 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020, and retail rising from 6 million to 16 million, crossing paths at different points. Furthermore, expressions like 'falldown by 5 to 3 million aproximated' and 'manufacturing had huge decrieased reach point upper near 10 million' reflect strained comprehension of the visual data. The overview is somewhat confused by grammar and structural issues, leading to a partial and imprecise summary of the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response is divided into four paragraphs, attempting an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by severe cohesion and referencing errors, such as starting the second paragraph with 'Overview, retails and healthcare are consider...' and using abrupt transitional phrases like 'on the another hand'. Paragraph boundaries are misused, separating related data points awkwardly. Cohesive devices are often misused or mechanically forced, such as 'Althrough' and 'Afterwards agriculture have fixed development', which impedes the smooth reading of the text and fails to clearly guide the reader through the data comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary range is quite limited and heavily constrained by frequent word-choice and spelling errors. The student attempts less common items and economic vocabulary (e.g., 'proportions', 'significant growth rate', 'development'), but misuses them or produces non-standard forms such as 'retails', 'pase', 'blow' (below), 'bouth', 'in additon', 'coved' (covered), 'Althrough', 'falldown', 'aproximated', and 'decrieased'. These lexical inaccuracies and spelling mistakes cause noticeable strain for the reader throughout the response, restricting the lexical score to the lower bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple or faulty complex sentences. There are persistent, highly disruptive grammatical errors in nearly every sentence, including missing prepositions ('in economy of US at 1960 to 2020'), incorrect verb forms ('are consider', 'can see', 'begin around', 'had a same pase'), subject-verb agreement issues ('their is a small amount of gap'), and incorrect tense usage. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and misplaced periods. The high frequency of basic grammatical errors impedes communication and lowers the accuracy score.

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