Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph given below depicts the information about the ratio of jobs in four economical sectors including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare system in America during the period of 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs among manufacturing first rose however, later there were steady decline throughout the period. Whereas, proportion of employment among agriculture decreased gradually. On the other hand, employment level increased in retail and health department regularly.

Manufacturing department job rate has visible fluctuations. In 1960, jobs rate was 15 million which increased till 20 million in 1980. But after that it decreased and reaced till 13 million in 2020. Similarly, during the whole period agriculture department also experience jobs challenges. in 1960 the job ratio was 6 million but it arrived at 2 million in 2020 which was the lower among all four sectors.

In stark contrast, jobs number in retail and health care upgrade slowly between 1960 to 2020. Statistic for retail was 6 million initially. later in 2020 it was 16 million. Identical pattern was shown for health care which was the lowest in 1960 as 2 million. There was a surge in jobs in health care and increased reached 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student successfully covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and provides a clear overview highlighting the main trends. Key data points are accurately reported, such as manufacturing rising to 20 million in 1980 before declining to 13 million in 2020, and agriculture dropping to the lowest point of 2 million. Meaningful comparisons are made between sectors, such as contrasting the upward trajectories of retail and healthcare with the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. The response meets all core requirements of Task 1 by selecting and reporting the main features effectively, though occasional minor infelicities in data interpretation occur.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is logically organised into four distinct paragraphs, featuring an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs detailing specific data. Cohesive devices are employed to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'Whereas', and 'In stark contrast'. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as referring to 'jobs among manufacturing first rose however, later there were steady decline'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from detailed descriptions, ensuring a coherent overall progression throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully incorporating sector-specific terms like 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. There are several attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'fluctuations', 'proportion', and 'surge'. However, noticeable word choice and collocation errors appear throughout the text, including 'economical sectors' instead of 'economic sectors', 'jobs rate' instead of 'job rate' or 'number of jobs', and 'arrived at' instead of 'fell to'. Spelling and word formation errors do not severely impede communication but prevent the score from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as 'Whereas, proportion of employment among agriculture decreased gradually.' There are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation slips, including missing articles ('the lower among all four sectors'), subject-verb agreement issues ('jobs number in retail and health care upgrade slowly'), and awkward phrasing ('Statistic for retail was 6 million initially'). While these errors are noticeable and require occasional rereading, they rarely completely impede communication, placing the performance securely within the Band 6 descriptor.

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