Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph represents the information about number of employement in four different area of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data is presented in numbers.
It is apparent that in 1960 there were 4 millions jobs in the healthcare department whereas it gradually increased and reached up to 16 millions in 2020. In addition, in 1960 work avalibalibity in manufacturaing were 15 millons. Addtionally, in 1980 it was reached around 20 millions. However, employement in manufacturing were decreased gradually and reached up to 13 millions in 2020.
Moving further, in 1960 jobs opportunities were 5 millions in retail and agriculture. In contrast,in 1980 work level was went down in agriculture and went up in retail. Moreover, in 2020 occupation in reatil was 16 millions and in agriculture was 2.5 millions.
All in all, rate of occpuants were increasing in the healthcare department whereas scope of jobs in agriculture were reducing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response successfully covers all four economic sectors shown in the line graph, providing figures for key years such as 1960 and 2020. An overview is attempted in the conclusion, highlighting the main trends in healthcare and agriculture. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, the writer states that in 1960 there were 4 million jobs in healthcare, whereas the graph indicates around 2 million, and retail and agriculture figures in 1960 are conflated slightly. Despite these minor discrepancies, the main features and comparisons are generally reported, fulfilling the core requirements of Task 1.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The text is divided into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors, and ending with a brief summary. Cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'However', and 'In contrast' are used to connect ideas, though some transitions feel a bit mechanical or are awkwardly placed ('Moving further'). Referencing is mostly clear, but paragraphing and flow could be improved to create a smoother progression of information throughout the response.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The lexical range is limited and basic, with several spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, such as 'employement' instead of 'employment', 'avalibalibity' instead of 'availability', 'manufacturaing' instead of 'manufacturing', and 'reatil' instead of 'retail'. While the vocabulary is adequate to convey the general data points, the frequency of spelling mistakes and awkward collocations ('work avalibalibity', 'work level was went down') restricts the score to a 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical accuracy is weak. There are frequent errors in verb tense and voice, such as 'work level was went down', 'employement in manufacturing were decreased', and 'rate of occpuants were increasing'. Subject-verb agreement errors ('occupants were', 'jobs were') and awkward phrasing occur throughout. Although these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the writing from achieving a higher band.
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