Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line chart illustrates the porportions of millions of jobs in four different sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the US between [redacted phone]
Overall, the chart representing the fluctuation in the manufacturing sector; however, it was reached a peak in 1980 with 20 millions of jobs were approachable at that time but after some decades it was plummeted to just 13 millions in 2020.
On the other hand, the agriculture department jobs were on peak in 1960 and then started falling gradually with every passing year and at the end hit a low of almost 2 millions of job available in 2020.
In 1960 the retail and healthcare sections were on the lowest point of available job neverthless started rising steadily in the next 40 years. One of the significant factor in 2020 the both fields hit the same figures of 16 million were obtainable
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and attempts to make comparisons over the period from 1960 to 2020. However, the overview is poorly constructed, featuring confusing phrasing ("the chart representing the fluctuation in the manufacturing sector") rather than a clear summary of the main overall trends. Furthermore, there are several data inaccuracies and awkward expressions, such as stating that agriculture jobs were at their peak in 1960 when the graph actually shows manufacturing started lower and peaked in 1980, and misinterpreting the scale ("20 millions of jobs were approachable"). The details provided are somewhat imprecise, leading to a partial fulfillment of the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response attempts to organise information by grouping sectors into paragraphs, such as discussing retail and healthcare together in the final paragraph. However, the overall progression is hampered by weak cohesive devices and punctuation errors (e.g., missing full stops and commas, run-on structures). Referencing is occasionally unclear, and transitions between sentences feel mechanical rather than naturally flowing. Paragraphing is attempted, but the lack of proper punctuation makes the text difficult to parse as distinct blocks of thought, resulting in a score in the lower-middle range.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and contains numerous unnatural word choices and spelling errors. For instance, "porportions" is misspelled, and phrases like "millions of jobs were approachable", "department jobs were on peak", and "sections were on the lowest point of available job" demonstrate significant lexical awkwardness and incorrect collocation. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary related to the economy and employment, the frequent errors in word formation and choice impede clear communication and restrict the score to a Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that frequently break down due to structural errors. There are frequent issues with verb forms and voice, such as "it was reached a peak", "jobs were approachable", and "one of the significant factor in 2020 the both fields hit... were obtainable". Punctuation is largely absent between sentences, creating run-on structures that strain the reader's comprehension. Errors occur across most sentences, placing this response firmly in the Band 5 category.
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