Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the Us between 1960 and 2020.

The rise of jobs in Healthcare sector has the highest increase in 2020 and that is approximately 15 million ,whereas the graph shows that in 1960 ,Healthcare sector offered only less than 5 million jobs.Overall the Healthcare sector job ratio has increased drastically in these years that are listed below:

[redacted phone]

Considerably the Retail sector shows higher jobs opportunities than Healthcare sector,According to the graph,in 1960 the Retail Sector offered more than 5 million jobs opportunities and that raised drastically in 2020 whereas from 1960 to 2020 ,in prominent years such as 1960 to 1980 the jobs increased to the 5 % and this same number occured in 2000 also making it the fastest and consistent sector than others in terms of jobs offerings.

Over the years,Agriculture sector in the US has declined drastically in terms of jobs opportunities , according to the graph, number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US,[redacted phone], there was no raise of jobs opportunities in 20 years , ranking the sector in the lowest category .If we talk about numbers , in 1960 there were more job opportunities and that is approximately more than 5 million jobs incomparison to 2020 where jobs opportunities were almost less than 5 million

Manufacturing Sector provided more job opportunities in the year of 1980 and that is 20 million but over the years it declined to less than 15 million ,approximately 12 million job opportunities existed in 2020.

Hence by comparison the sector that provided more jobs opportunities was Retail and the second highest job opportunities that were offered was in the sector of Healthcare.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and attempts to make comparisons. However, there are notable inaccuracies in reading the data, such as claiming the healthcare sector reached 'approximately 15 million' in 2020 when the chart shows it at 16 million, and stating that agriculture had 'no raise of jobs opportunities in 20 years' which misrepresents the timeline and trends. Furthermore, the inclusion of a bulleted list of years breaks standard task conventions, and the concluding summary is slightly inaccurate since both retail and healthcare finished at 16 million in 2020. The overview is weak and lacks a clear, cohesive summary of the overall trends. Consequently, the response earns a band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The text is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently disrupted. The use of a bulleted list ('1980, 2000, 2020') is inappropriate for an academic essay and interrupts the flow of information. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as the transition 'Considerably the Retail sector shows...', which impedes smooth reading. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall organization feels disjointed rather than logically sequenced. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is faulty. This performance corresponds to a band 5.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student attempts a range of vocabulary related to data trends, using words such as 'drastically', 'declined', and 'opportunities'. However, there are frequent inappropriate word choices and collocations, such as 'The rise of jobs in Healthcare sector has the highest increase' and 'job ratio'. There are also awkward phrasings like 'jobs offerings' and 'faster and consistent sector'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey basic trends, the numerous lexical inaccuracies place it at a band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response exhibits a very limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences often result in punctuation errors and run-on sentences, as seen in 'Considerably the Retail sector shows higher jobs opportunities than Healthcare sector,According to the graph,in 1960...'. There are frequent errors in prepositions and articles, such as 'in the Us', 'The rise of jobs in Healthcare sector', and 'incomparison'. Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency also need improvement. These persistent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect band 5.0 descriptors.

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