Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The figure depicts data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the USA between 1960 and 2020. Retail and healthcare jobs indicate increasing trend while agriculture show decreasing trend. In contrast number of jobs in manufacturing industry shows spike in starting period and downward trend in the ending period.
As illustrated in the graph, healthcare sector have 4 million jobs in 1960 that increased to 17 million in 2020. On the other hand, retail career opportunities also indicate upward trend after 1960 till 2000 but after that it shows small increase in number of employment oppotunities. In contrast, agriculture jobs decline after 1962, which were 6 million in starting period and declined to to 0.4 in 2020. In contrast number of jobs in manufacturing industry experience large spike in after 1960 and jobs increased to 20 million in the year 1980 that was higher than all other category employments. After this year, it indicates downward trend, and decrease to 10.5 million in 2020..
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and attempts to present an overview of the main trends. However, there are several inaccurate data points reported. For example, the student states that the healthcare sector had 4 million jobs in 1960 (it was actually around 2 million) and that retail experienced a small increase after 2000, whereas the graph shows a steady rise to 16 million. Additionally, agriculture is stated to have declined to 0.4 million in 2020, which is an exaggeration of the visual data. The overview is somewhat basic but present. Because of the inaccuracies in reporting specific figures, the response achieves a Band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response has a basic overall structure, beginning with an introductory sentence and attempting body paragraphs. However, paragraphing is poorly handled, with the entire main body lumped into one dense block of text. Cohesive devices are repetitive and sometimes awkward, relying heavily on transitional phrases like 'In contrast' multiple times in close succession ('In contrast number of jobs...', 'In contrast, agriculture jobs...', 'In contrast number of jobs...'). Referencing is occasionally unclear, and logical progression is disrupted by the lack of clear paragraph breaks. This corresponds to a Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, featuring appropriate topic-related words such as 'economy', 'sector', 'employment opportunities', and 'manufacturing industry'. However, the range is limited, and there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'indicate increasing trend' instead of 'show an increasing trend', and spelling or typos like 'oppotunities'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with limited success. This performance fits the Band 5.5 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. There are several missing articles and grammatical errors, such as 'healthcare sector have 4 million jobs' (subject-verb agreement), 'agriculture show decreasing trend' (missing article and agreement), and punctuation/spacing issues like double periods ('2020..'). Subordinate clauses are sometimes awkward. Errors are frequent enough to cause occasional strain for the reader, placing this at a Band 5.0.
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