Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The illustration below provides information about the number of employments in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The graph is divided in 4 categories and over 4 years. Overall, retail and healthcare showed gradual increase to the top and manufacturing and agriculture showed decline over the years.
Retail and healthcare showed noticeable increase from 0 and 5 millions jobs respectiverly in 1960 to 15 millions jobs in 2020. In 1980, healthcare was at 5 millions while retail was at 10 millions which got further increased to 10 millions jobs for healthcare and 15 millions job for retail in 2000.
Manufacturing was growing until 1980 with 20 millions jobs, the highest in all the years. However it started to fall after that with a record of 17 millions jobs in 2000 and 13 millions jobs in 2020. On other hand, healthcare remained the lowest of them all starting from 6 millions jobs to 4 millions in 1980 and then platued to 2000 with final recording of 3 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response covers all parts of the task well, providing an overview and reporting the main features and trends of the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. The student correctly identifies the general upward trends for retail and healthcare and the downward trends for manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are some minor data inaccuracies and confusion regarding the starting points and figures; for example, the student states that retail and healthcare started from '0 and 5 millions jobs respectiverly in 1960', whereas the visual data shows healthcare started at 2 million. Additionally, the paragraph discussing agriculture mistakenly refers to it as healthcare ('On other hand, healthcare remained the lowest...'). Despite these slips, the key comparisons and overall trends are adequately reported, satisfying the core requirements of Task 1.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical paragraph structure, dividing the introduction, body paragraphs, and overview reasonably well. Cohesive devices are used to link ideas, such as 'Overall', 'However', and 'On other hand'. However, referencing and progression are occasionally faulty, most notably when the writer confuses agriculture with healthcare in the final paragraph ('On other hand, healthcare remained the lowest of them all starting from 6 millions jobs...'), which disrupts the logical flow and clarity of the comparisons. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion within sentences can be mechanical or slightly imprecise.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student attempts a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as 'gradual increase', 'decline', and 'highest in all the years'. However, there are noticeable lexical and spelling inaccuracies throughout the text, including 'employments' (instead of 'employment' or 'jobs'), 'respectiverly', and 'platued' (instead of 'plateaued'). Word choice is sometimes unnatural or imprecise, such as referring to millions of jobs without proper pluralisation rules in certain phrases ('5 millions jobs'). The lexical range is adequate for the task, but these errors prevent the response from achieving a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing past tenses to describe historical data trends. There are, however, frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'The graph is divided in 4 categories' (instead of 'into'), 'which got further increased', and missing articles or incorrect prepositions. Punctuation is generally acceptable, and while the errors are noticeable and require some re-reading, they do not entirely impede communication. The control of grammar is characteristic of a solid Band 6 performance.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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