Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

the liner represention illustares the imformation about the number of employement in us economy in manufacturing , retail , agriculture and healthcare in 1960 ans 2020.

overall, healthcare, retail and manufacturing had become the two largest emplyers, while agriculture had the fewest jobs

In 1960, the employer of manufacturing was approximately 15 million , which is more then retail and agriculture which is accounted for 6 million each, while helthcare employed only 2 millon. manufacturing employment then rose to prak of 20 million in 1980 before falling streadily to 16 millon in 2000 and 14 millon in 2020.

retail followed a constent upword trend throughout the period. its employment figure increase from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000, evemtually reaching approximately 16million in 2020. healthcare also grew constentably , rising from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980 , before more doubling ito 11 miliion in 2000 and reaching 16 million by 2020.

in contract, agriculture experienced an overall decline. employment fell from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980 and remained at this level in 2000, before dropping furture to only 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The student covers all parts of the task well, selecting and reporting the main features of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overview is provided, noting that healthcare, retail, and manufacturing became the largest employers while agriculture had the fewest jobs. Key data points are generally reported accurately, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare and retail reaching approximately 16 million by 2020, although there is a minor numerical slip where 13 million is written as 14 million for manufacturing in 2020. Comparisons are made appropriately across sectors. The response effectively highlights trends and key figures without unnecessary repetition, meeting the requirements of the task well.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is logically organised and progresses clearly from an introduction to an overview, followed by body paragraphs detailing individual sector trends. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different ideas and sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'while', 'then', 'before', and 'in contrast' are used effectively to show relationships between data points and time periods. Although referencing is mostly clear, minor mechanical errors in cohesion occur due to missing capitalisation and punctuation at the beginning of sentences and paragraphs. However, overall progression is clear and logical throughout the essay, supporting a solid band 7 performance.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for an academic task, including terms such as 'employers', 'upward trend', 'overall decline', and 'steadily'. Less common lexical items are attempted, such as 'peaking', 'constantly', and 'proportion', though some spelling and word-choice inaccuracies are present, including 'liner represention' instead of 'line representation', 'illustares', 'imformation', 'emplyers', 'constent', 'upword', 'constentably', and 'furture'. Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout the response, and the vocabulary is sufficiently varied to cover the main trends and comparisons required by the prompt.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilising relative clauses and subordinate structures like 'which is accounted for 6 million each' and 'before more doubling ito 11 miliion in 2000'. However, there are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors, including missing capital letters at the start of sentences, subject-verb agreement issues ('the employer of manufacturing was'), and prepositional or morphological errors ('more doubling ito 11 miliion', 'more then retail'). While these errors do not severely impede communication, they persist throughout the text and prevent the grammar score from reaching the higher band, placing the response firmly at band 6.

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