Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in US between 1960 and 1980.
Overall,manufacturing was at peak at initial stage and it dramatically increased in 1960 but then it showed decline from its actual point.Whereas retail and healthcare almost showed similar trend throughout the period.Proportions in agriculture decreased and then remained stable upto end.
Between 1960 and 1980 manufacturing was at the highest point as huge rise has encountered in it .While retail and healthcare have shown that healthcare is lagging behind slightly from retail in 1960 and 2 years after it remained the same as retail leaded a step ahead than healthcare.Agriculture showed a different trend as compared to others as if there is a decline noted in it from first stage to second.
From mid to end manufacturing seemed to be sharply declined.In contrast retail and healthcare constantly rise upto greater extent and these were most stably increased percentage throughout the period.On the other hand, agriculture rates decreases in persistent way upto end .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, noting general trends such as the peak of manufacturing and the steady rise of retail and healthcare. However, there are significant inaccuracies in reporting the data and timeframes. For instance, the introduction states the graph is between '1960 and 1980', whereas the visual spans from 1960 to 2020. Furthermore, some of the specific descriptions of trends are vague or confused, such as stating manufacturing 'dramatically increased in 1960' when it actually started at 15 million and peaked later in 1980. The overview is somewhat disjointed and fails to clearly capture the overall trajectory of all four sectors. These shortcomings place the response firmly at Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression and overall coherence are hindered by poor linking and referencing. Phrases like 'at initial stage' and 'from first stage to second' feel mechanical and awkward. Paragraphing lacks clear thematic separation, and the sequencing of ideas jumps confusingly between time periods without a clear anchor. Cohesive devices are either misused or absent, making it difficult to follow the relationships between data points. Referencing is frequently unclear, leading to a disjointed reading experience. This aligns with Band 5 descriptors for organization and cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on simple terms like 'showed', 'increased', and 'decreased'. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'huge rise has encountered in it', 'rates decreases in persistent way', and 'stably increased percentage'. While the writer attempts some topic-specific vocabulary ('sectors', 'economy', 'manufacturing', 'retail'), the range is narrow and restricted. These persistent errors and limited flexibility mean the vocabulary is minimally adequate for the task, corresponding to a Band 5 score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The text contains a limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex sentences frequently result in errors. There are numerous grammatical inaccuracies, missing articles, and awkward prepositional usage throughout the text, such as 'illustrates about the number', 'sectors of economy in US', and 'if there is a decline noted in it'. Punctuation and spacing are also problematic in several places, notably missing spaces after commas and periods. Errors are frequent and occasionally cause strain for the reader, fitting the Band 5 descriptors.
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