Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the wide range of jobs in four diffrent sectors of the economy in US between 1960 and 202.
Overall, Manufacturing peaked in 1980 before declining. while, retail and healthcare showed a substantial growth. In contrast, Agriculture experienced an overal decline over the period.
Firstly, number of jobs in manufacturing flactuated in 1980 by 20 millions of jobs before declining at 13 millions in 2020. whereas, agriculture showed a gradual decline from 6 millions of jobs in 1960 to approximatly 3 over the period. while, retail and healthcare experienced a significant surge from (6:3) respectively, until they peaked in 2020 at the same figure, 16 millions of jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student covers the main trends in all four sectors and attempts to provide an overview. However, there are significant issues that prevent a higher score. First, the response is severely under-length at 114 words, well below the 150-word minimum, which incurs a strict penalty under IELTS rules. Second, there are some inaccuracies and vague reporting of data, such as 'flactuated in 1980 by 20 millions of jobs' and an awkward parenthetical expression '(6:3) respectively'. While the main overall patterns are identified, the lack of word count and imprecise data manipulation restrict the task achievement to Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The text is organised into an introduction, a clear overall statement, and a body paragraph. However, the paragraphing is underdeveloped due to the short overall length, leading to a somewhat disjointed appearance. The student uses cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'In contrast', 'Firstly', and 'whereas', but punctuation and grammatical control around these links are weak, causing mechanical flow rather than natural progression. For instance, the inappropriate full stop usage after 'declining. while' disrupts cohesion. Referencing and linking are occasionally awkward or imprecise, keeping the coherence and cohesion score at Band 5.5.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range to discuss economic sectors, using terms such as 'sectors of the economy', 'declining', 'growth', and 'surge'. However, there are multiple spelling errors ('diffrent', 'overal', 'flactuated', 'approximatly') and awkward lexical choices or word forms. The use of 'millions of jobs' repeatedly is slightly repetitive, and phrases like 'gradual decline... to approximatly 3' omit essential units. The vocabulary is minimally adequate for the task, but frequent mechanical and lexical slips limit the score to Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, using subordinate clauses introduced by words like 'while' and 'whereas'. However, control over punctuation and sentence boundaries is poor, leading to sentence fragments (e.g., starting clauses with 'while' immediately after a full stop). There are frequent grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('in US'), capitalization errors ('Manufacturing', 'Retail', 'Agriculture', 'Healthcare' mid-sentence), and prepositional inaccuracies. Because complex structures are often faulty and errors are frequent throughout the short text, the grammatical range and accuracy score is Band 5.0.
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