Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the data regarding the number of jobs in four categories of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
From 1960 to 1980 jobs in thee fields were increased, while jobs in agricultural area was decreased. But, from 1980 ti 2020 there were some changes in the fields like manufacturing. Compared to 1960, in 2020 job marcket entirely differed according to this graph.
The opportunities for healthcare jobs remain increase since 1960 to 2020 while Agricultural jobs remain decrease over past six decades. In 1960, retail and agricultural opportunities were available nearly five million. But with the time the retail jobs going higher and agricultural jobs going lower.
Furthermore, manufacturing side was increased from 1960 to 1980 while maintaing the highest number of job opportunities. With the time it reduces rapidly below 15 million. Even the retail jobs rapidly incresed from 1960 to 2000, it came a plataeu phase after 2000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response covers all four economic sectors and spans the entire timeframe from 1960 to 2020. The student successfully identifies key trends, such as the rise in healthcare and retail jobs and the decline in agriculture. An overview is attempted in the second paragraph, stating that the job market 'entirely differed' by 2020. However, some data points contain minor inaccuracies, such as stating that retail and agricultural opportunities were 'nearly five million' in 1960 (retail was actually around 6 million and agriculture 6 million). Furthermore, some details are slightly imprecise, but the overall trends are clearly reported and well-selected to give a coherent picture of the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is structured into four paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group the sectors logically. Cohesive devices are used to signal time and contrast, such as 'From 1960 to 1980', 'while', and 'Furthermore'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical, as seen in phrases like 'With the time the retail jobs going higher' and 'Even the retail jobs rapidly incresed'. Paragraphing is present, but logical progression within paragraphs is occasionally disrupted by awkward transitions and repetitive phrasing.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to the visual data such as 'categories', 'opportunities', 'sectors', and 'plateau phase'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'thee' instead of 'three', 'agricultural area was decreased', 'ti' instead of 'to', 'marcket', 'remain increase', 'maintaing', and 'incresed'. These lexical errors and awkward collocations show a limited control of less common vocabulary, though communication is generally maintained.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing subordinating conjunctions like 'while' and 'as'. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in verb forms, tense usage, and voice. Examples include 'jobs in thee fields were increased' (passive voice error), 'agricultural area was decreased', 'healthcare jobs remain increase' (infinitive/participle error), 'retail jobs going higher', and 'it came a plataeu phase'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader.
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