Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the changes in employment figures across four economic sectors in the united states: Manufacturing,retail, agriculture and healthcare from 1960 to 2020, measured in millions of jobs.

overall, Healthcare and retail experienced consistent upward trajactories throughout the 60 year period , with healthcare exhibiting the most dramatic rise. conversely, Manufacturing saw initial growth before experiencing a steady decline, while agriculture remained the smallest employer with a sligh domnward drift

in 1960, manufacturing was by far the largest provider of jobs at 15 million, peaking at 20 million in 1980. However,this sector subsequently contracted ,dropping to 17 million in 2000 and eventually falling 13 by 2020.in contrast ,retail started at 6 million in 1960 and climbed steadily over the decades.overtaking manufacturing around 2015 to reach the 16 million by the end of rhe faceframe.

healtgcare began as a smallest sector in 2960 alongside agriculture, offering only 2 million.over the following decades, health-care witnessed substantial matching manufacturing at approximately 14 million jobs in 2015 and conckuding 16 million jobs in 2020. conversely agriculture stated at 6 million in 1960 driped sharply among 3 million in 1980 to 2000 then started diminishing at 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response effectively covers all parts of the task by reporting the main features, trends, and comparisons across all four economic sectors shown in the graph. The overview paragraph accurately captures the overall trends, highlighting the upward trajectories of healthcare and retail alongside the contrasting decline in manufacturing and agriculture. Key data points, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and retail reaching 16 million by 2020, are correctly selected and reported. While there are a few minor typographical errors in the figures quoted in the body paragraphs (such as 'falling 13' instead of 13 million, and 'among 3 million'), these do not prevent the successful communication of the main trends. The response satisfies all requirements for a Band 7 performance under this criterion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into four paragraphs, including an introduction with an overview, two body paragraphs detailing the specific sector trends, and a concluding synthesis. Information and ideas progress logically throughout the text, allowing the reader to follow the data easily. Cohesive devices such as 'overall', 'conversely', 'however', and 'in contrast' are used effectively to signal transitions and comparisons between the different sectors. Paragraphing is used appropriately, grouping related data together. Although there are occasional issues with punctuation and sentence boundaries, the overall logical flow and clear progression earn a solid Band 7 score.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, successfully employing less common items and sector-related terms such as 'employment figures', 'trajectory', 'contracted', and 'diminishing'. There are attempts to use precise descriptive language to characterize trends, such as 'dramatic rise' and 'steady decline'. However, there are several noticeable spelling errors and typographical slips throughout the text (e.g., 'united states', 'trajactories', 'domnward', 'healtgcare', 'conckuding', 'stated', 'driped'). These lexical and spelling slips occasionally detract from precision, placing this response firmly in the Band 6 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and participial phrases (e.g., 'overtaking manufacturing around 2015 to reach the 16 million'). There is a variety of grammatical structures attempted throughout the text. However, the text contains a notable number of grammatical errors, punctuation flaws, and missing articles or words (e.g., missing 'to' before reach, missing prepositions, and lowercase letters at the start of sentences like 'in 1960' and 'over'). While these errors do not impede overall communication, their frequency prevents the response from achieving a higher band, making Band 6 the most accurate descriptor.

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