Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The line graph illustrate about the number of jobs from 1960 and 2020 about four sector.
Overview. , manufacturing and healthcare are the two major for jobs that decreases after a increase in 1960 and decreases in, until 2020. Where two, the retailer and agriculture are the most achieving jobs that are Er- that ss increases with passage of time The first, uh firstly, manufacturing and healthcare are dec- uh are dec- limiting themselves and getting a decreasing with time to time, as in 1960 e- health- eh care decreases while manufacturing increases. Where eh after 1980 both sectors fall with a rapid down. [breath Ah, secondly, retailer and agriculture are increasing after 1980s, so on. As we can see the increase s- of s- both sectors after 1980 to 2020 and they will uh they are same and they will be increase till now and these increases with time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the chart, but the information reported is often inaccurate and confused. For example, the student states that retail and agriculture are the most achieving jobs and that agriculture increases over time, which directly contradicts the visual data showing agricultural employment falling from 6 million to 2 million. Furthermore, the overview is disjointed and fails to clearly present the overall trends, such as the significant growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture. The data is misread and generalized incorrectly throughout the response. Therefore, this performance falls short of the expectations for higher bands, reflecting significant limitations in selecting and accurately reporting core trends.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The organizational structure of the response is extremely weak. The text is marred by false starts, self-corrections, and disjointed phrasing, such as 'Overview. , manufacturing and healthcare are the two major for jobs...'. There are no clear paragraphs; instead, the writing consists of a single chaotic block of text with abrupt shifts and oral-style fillers like '[breath Ah, secondly...'. Cohesive devices are either missing, misused, or mechanical, failing to establish logical relationships between sentences or ideas. Progression is absent, leaving the reader struggling to follow any coherent train of thought.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The lexical range is extremely limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'jobs', 'sectors', 'increase', and 'decrease'. There are frequent inappropriate word choices and collocations, such as 'most achieving jobs' and 'rapid down'. Word formation errors are also present, including 'retailer' used instead of 'retail'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey a very rudimentary topic, the frequent errors and restricted range heavily impede precise communication and place the response firmly in the lower bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is poor throughout the response. The text contains numerous basic errors in subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and sentence structure, such as 'The line graph illustrate' and 'manufacturing and healthcare are dec- uh are dec- limiting themselves'. Complex sentence structures are attempted, but they are consistently faulty and tangled with self-corrections and broken syntax. Punctuation is also misused, with erratic full stops interrupting flowing clauses. Errors are frequent and severely disrupt readability.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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