Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Overview. manufacturing and healthcare e the two major for jobs that decreases after a increase in 1960 and decreases in, until 2020. Where two, the retailer and agriculture are the most achieving jobs that are Er- that ss increases with passage of time The first, uh firstly, manufacturing and healthcare are dec- uh are dec- limiting themselves and getting a decreasing with time to time, as in 1960 e- health- eh care decreases while manufacturing increases. Where eh after 1980 both sectors fall with a rapid down. [breath Ah, secondly, retailer and agriculture are increasing after 1980s, so on. As we can see the increase s- of s- both sectors after 1980 to 2020 and they will uh they are same and they will be increase till now
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, containing only 128 words, which directly impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, the content suffers from major inaccuracies and confusion regarding the data provided in the graph. For instance, the student claims that agriculture and retail are 'increasing after 1980s', whereas the graph clearly shows that agriculture declined from 6 million in 1960 down to 2 million in 2020. The overview is confused, and key trends are misreported or left undeveloped.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The logical organization of the response is severely disrupted by false starts, hesitation markers, and disjointed sentences. The text lacks clear paragraphing and structure. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'Where two, the retailer and agriculture are the most achieving jobs...', making it difficult for the reader to follow a clear line of progression. Referencing between ideas is frequently unclear, leading to an overall lack of cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and frequently inappropriate for an academic task report. Examples such as 'most achieving jobs' and 'rapid down' demonstrate a lack of control over standard collocations and economic terminology. There are also vocabulary errors and awkward phrasing throughout, such as 'decreasing with time to time', which significantly strains the reader's understanding and falls short of an adequate lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical structures attempted are frequently faulty, and there is a notable absence of error-free complex sentences. The text contains numerous grammatical and syntactical errors, such as 'manufacturing and healthcare e the two major for jobs that decreases after a increase in 1960 and decreases in, until 2020.' Verb tenses and subject-verb agreements are inconsistently applied, and sentence boundaries are blurred by false starts and run-on phrasing, causing frequent difficulty for the reader.
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