Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
This graph illustrate about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960- 2020. These sectors are maufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors.In this graph x- axis represent the year however y-axis represents the numbers of jobs for the different sectors.
On the other hand, in 1960 the manufacturing sectors the numbers of jobs is 15 millions. After that from [redacted phone] the numbers of jobs is rises from 15 millions to 20 millions then after decline ,[redacted phone] from 20 millions to below the 15 millions of jobs. The another secors is retails sectors. In 1960 the retail sectors' numbers of jobs is 5 millions. The retails sectors numbers of jobs is rises from [redacted phone], from 5 millions to 15 millions. Then after from [redacted phone] the numbers of jobs are slowely increases upto 17 millions.
On the other hand, The agriculture sectors' numbers of jobs in 1960 is 5 millions. Then after decline from 5 millions to above 2 millions from [redacted phone]. The another sectors is healthcare sectors. In this sectors the numbers of jobs is rises from above 2 millions to 16 millions, in the period of time from [redacted phone].
Conclusion, this graph represents the numbers of jobs in four sectors. So the manufacturing sectors firstly rises then after decline the value. The retail sectors and healthcare sectors the numbers of jobs is riess. The agriculture sectors the numbers of jobs are decline.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, reporting data for manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare between 1960 and 2020. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data reported compared to the visual reference. For example, the student states that the number of jobs in retail in 1960 was 5 million (it was 6 million) and that healthcare started at above 2 million (it started at 2 million). Furthermore, while there is a concluding paragraph, the overview lacks clarity and fails to synthesise the main global trends effectively. The description of trends is overly mechanical and granular rather than analytical. Therefore, the response fits the Band 5 descriptor for partially addressing the task.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text is organized into paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs for the different sectors, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by awkward mechanical linking devices such as 'On the other hand,' 'Then after,' and 'The another secors.' Referencing is sometimes unclear, and cohesive devices are overused repetitively, leading to a disjointed reading experience. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal structure of the body paragraphs lacks cohesive flow. These issues align closely with the Band 5 descriptor, showing some organization but lacking clear overall progression.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, frequently reusing phrases like 'numbers of jobs' and 'sectors' throughout the text. There are also several spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'maufacturing' instead of manufacturing, 'secors' instead of sectors, 'retails' instead of retail, and awkward lexical phrases like 'slowely increases upto.' The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for the task, causing some noticeable lexical strain. This is characteristic of a Band 5 performance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and some complex structures, but grammatical control is weak. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, such as 'This graph illustrate,' 'the numbers of jobs is rises,' 'the value is decline,' and 'the numbers of jobs are decline.' Punctuation and preposition use are also frequently flawed (e.g., 'in the period of time from'). These frequent errors can cause occasional difficulty for the reader, fitting the standard of Band 5 where complex sentence attempts are often faulty.
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