Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line chart illustrate details about how many jobs in the four sector of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall Initially, Retail and Healthcare both are rapidly increases over the whole period However,Manufacturing sharply decreases as well as Agriculture considerably go down.
As regards,In 1960 to 1980 Manufacturing go up from 15 Million to 20 Million and Retail soared from
6 Million to 10 Million However,Healthcare increase from approximately 3 Million to 5 Million.
In Addition,From 1980 to 2020 Manufacturing significantly decreases which is from 20 Million to 9 Million and Retail hit a peak from 10 Million to approx near to the 16 Million Moreover, Healthcare rocket
from 5 Million to approximately 15.15 Million More, Agriculture steadily fall into approximately 3 Million to 2 Million.
To sum up this, Retail and Healthcare show significant changes and leapfrogged in whole duration while Manufacturing shows lowest progress Thus, Agriculture is bottom out all the time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main trends from the chart, noting the overall increase in Retail and Healthcare alongside the decline in Manufacturing and Agriculture. However, there are significant flaws in data accuracy and reporting. For instance, the student states that Manufacturing goes down from 20 Million to 9 Million (the actual value in 2020 is 13 million) and mentions an unusual figure of 15.15 Million for Healthcare. Furthermore, the overview is poorly structured, appearing as a fragmented sentence ("Overall Initially, Retail and Healthcare both are rapidly increases..."). While the main features are touched upon, the lack of precision and underdeveloped overview keep this criterion at Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response lacks clear paragraphing and logical progression. The introduction is a single sentence, followed by a confusing second paragraph that attempts an overview but mixes in specific data points. Transitional phrases like "As regards," "In Addition," and "Moreover" are used mechanically and often inappropriately punctuated or placed. Pronoun referencing and clause linkage are frequently faulty, making the overall progression disjointed and difficult to follow. This corresponds to the Band 5.0 descriptor where there is some organisation but no clear overall progression, and cohesive devices are inadequate or inaccurate.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as "leapfrogged", "soared", and "bottom out", but their use is often imprecise or grammatically awkward. There are noticeable word-choice errors, such as "progress" instead of "performance" or "levels" ("Manufacturing shows lowest progress"), and formatting issues with numbers and decimals ("15.15 Million"). Repetition of basic structures and vocabulary limits the range, and errors in collocation cause some difficulty for the reader. This performance aligns comfortably with Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in basic verb tenses and agreement, such as "The line chart illustrate", "Retail and Healthcare both are rapidly increases", and "Agriculture steadily fall". Punctuation is weak, with missing full stops, run-on sentences, and misused commas. These frequent errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and restrict the score to a Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0 based on positive elements of simple sentence construction.
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