Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line chart illustrates details about how many jobs in the four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Initially, Retail and Healthcare both increased over the whole period. However, Manufacturing sharply decrease as well as Agriculture considerably go down.
As regards period,In 1960 to 1980 Manufacturing go up from 15 Million to 20 Million and Retail soared from 6 Million to 10 Million Million However,Healthcare increased from approximately 3 Million to 5 Million.
In addition, from 1980 to 2020 Manufacturing significantly decreased which is from 20 Million to 9 Million and Retail reached a peak from 10 Million to approx near to the 16 Million Moreover, Healthcare rocket
from 5 Million to approximately 15.15 Million More, Agriculture steadily fall into approximately 3 Million to 2 Million.
To sum up this, Retail and Healthcare show significant changes and leapfrogged in whole duration while Manufacturing shows lowest progress Thus, Agriculture is bottom out all the time.
Band-up rewrite
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the chart, noting trends in the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, there are several inaccuracies in the reporting of figures, such as stating that Manufacturing went from 20 million to 9 million (whereas it ended around 13 million) and incorrectly describing Healthcare values. The overview is awkwardly constructed with fragmented sentences like 'Overall, Initially, Retail and Healthcare both increased...', leading to an under-developed summary of the overall trends. While the response does attempt all parts of the task, the data reporting errors and lack of a cohesive, accurate summary pull the score down to Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The organization of the essay is heavily disjointed. The text features broken sentences and erratic paragraphing, such as 'As regards period,In 1960 to 1980...' and the stray line 'Band-up rewrite' inserted mid-text. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, with clumsy transitions like 'More, Agriculture steadily fall'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical progression within paragraphs is frequently disrupted by grammatical errors and poor referencing. This lack of smooth progression and mechanical use of cohesive devices places the response firmly at Band 4.5.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple verbs like 'increase', 'go down', and 'decrease'. There are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations throughout, such as 'leapfrogged in whole duration', 'Manufacturing shows lowest progress', and 'Agriculture is bottom out all the time'. Spelling of numbers and common terms is generally acceptable, but the overall lexical range is limited and inadequate for a higher band. These persistent word-choice errors cause some difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 5.0 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. There is a very limited range of structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, such as 'Manufacturing sharply decrease as well as Agriculture considerably go down.' Tense consistency is poor, mixing present and past forms incorrectly (e.g., 'Manufacturing go up', 'Healthcare rocket'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after commas and run-on clauses (e.g., '10 Million Million However,Healthcare increased'). Frequent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction cause considerable strain for the reader, corresponding to a Band 4.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.