Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The given graph shows that the number of four job sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Now, we have to summarize these four job sectors manufacturing,retail,agriculture, and healthcare.
Firstly, we have to describe the manufacturing job sector we clearly see that the highest ratio of job sector is manufacturing and there is almost 15 million to 20 million jobs that this job sector gives the individuals. Secondly, there is retail job sector and this job sector gives almost 17 million jobs to the people. Thirdly, the agricultural job sector gives approximetely 16 millions jobs to individuals in the year of 2020. And the lastly there is health care job sector the lowest jobs giving to people is health care job sector it slightly reach in 1960 but as usual the years were time went gone the job sector giving jobs reaches goes down.
In summary, I would like to say that there is four job sectors and the best in 2020 there is only one manufacturing job sector and it is clearly visible in graph that manufacturing job sector giving most jobs to the individuals.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the task by discussing the four sectors shown in the graph, but it falls short in several key areas. Firstly, the student includes conversational and meta-language inappropriate for an Academic task, such as 'Now, we have to summarize...' and 'Firstly, we have to describe...'. Furthermore, the reporting of data is inaccurate and confused. For instance, the student states that agriculture gives 'approximetely 16 millions jobs' in 2020, whereas the graph clearly shows agriculture at around 2 million, while healthcare and retail reached 16 million. The overview is weak and repetitive, failing to accurately capture the main trends across the 60-year period. Consequently, the score reflects a partial and inaccurate treatment of the visual data.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The organisation of the text is hindered by poor paragraphing and a lack of formal cohesive devices. The response begins with a two-sentence introduction that includes prompt instructions rather than a standard paraphrase. The body paragraph is a single, extremely long, run-on block of text featuring repetitive sequential markers like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Thirdly', and 'And the lastly', which creates a mechanical and unnatural flow. Pronoun referencing is also problematic, as seen in vague phrases like 'as usual the years were time went gone'. Paragraphing is inadequate, as the entire core analysis is lumped together without logical division.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and restricted. Phrases like 'job sector', 'gives almost... jobs', and 'giving to people' are repeated constantly throughout the text. There are also noticeable spelling and word choice errors, such as 'approximetely' and 'health care job sector the lowest jobs giving to people is health care job sector'. The range of vocabulary is inadequate for a task requiring precise reporting of economic data, and the misuse of terms (such as confusing agriculture and retail figures) impedes clear communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying heavily on basic, repetitive sentence patterns connected by simple coordinating conjunctions like 'and'. There are numerous structural errors and awkward phrasings throughout the text, such as 'the number of four job sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020' (which lacks a main verb or predicate) and 'as usual the years were time went gone the job sector giving jobs reaches goes down'. Punctuation is also faulty, with missing commas after introductory transition words and run-on sentences that make comprehension difficult.
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