Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the changes in employment figures across four economic sectors in the United States Manufacturing, Retail, Healthcare, and Agriculture from 1960 to 2020, measured in millions of jobs. Overall, Initially, Retail and Healthcare both increased over the whole period. However, Manufacturing sharply decrease as well as Agriculture considerably go down.
As regards period,In 1960 to 1980 Manufacturing go up from 15 Million to 20 Million and Retail soared from 6 Million to 10 Million Million However,Healthcare increased from approximately 3 Million to 5 Million.
In addition, from 1980 to 2020 Manufacturing significantly decreased which is from 20 Million to 9 Million and Retail reached a peak from 10 Million to approx near to the 16 Million Moreover, Healthcare rocket
from 5 Million to approximately 15.15 Million More, Agriculture steadily fall into approximately 3 Million to 2 Million.
To sum up this, Retail and Healthcare show significant changes and leapfrogged in whole duration while Manufacturing shows lowest progress Thus, Agriculture is bottom out all the time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and attempts to provide an overview and report main features, aligning with Band 5 or 6 expectations. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and expression. For instance, the student states that Healthcare increased from approximately 3 million to 5 million (it started at 2 million) and claims Manufacturing decreased to 9 million in 2020 (whereas the graph shows it at around 13 million). The overview is somewhat confused, starting with 'Overall, Initially...' and containing broken phrasing. While the main trends are partially identified, the inaccuracies in data transcription and the under-developed overview prevent it from reaching a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text is divided into paragraphs, attempting an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by poor cohesive devices and punctuation errors. Phrases like 'As regards period,In 1960...' and 'More, Agriculture steadily fall...' demonstrate inadequate and mechanical management of cohesion. Furthermore, referencing is unclear in places, and paragraph boundaries do not effectively group related ideas. The overall arrangement shows some organisation, but the lack of accurate cohesive devices and confusing transitions keep it firmly in the Band 5 category.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate to the task, including sector names and terms like 'soared', 'rocket', and 'peak'. However, word choice and collocations are frequently flawed, such as 'Agriculture steadily fall into' and 'Agriculture is bottom out all the time'. There are also repetitive patterns and awkward lexical choices throughout the response. While the vocabulary used is minimally adequate to convey the general topic of employment sectors, frequent inaccuracies in word formation and collocation constrain the score to Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex or compound sentences frequently result in serious errors. There are frequent tense and verb-form mistakes, such as 'Manufacturing sharply decrease as well as Agriculture considerably go down', 'Manufacturing go up', and 'Retail reached a peak from 10 Million to approx near to the 16 Million'. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces and comma splices throughout the text. These frequent errors cause significant strain and difficulty for the reader, characteristic of Band 4 grammar descriptors.
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