Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

as we saw the line graph which shows about the four sector of the economy in the US between [redacted phone]

firstly we compare the manufacure and the retailing 1970 to 1980 both are rising up but after 1960 manufacturing is decreasing on the other hand the reatil is increasing after the 1980 as well

and the secondly we comparong the agriculture and health from the beging the agriculture is falling down but the health sector every 20 year was rising up. however the reatil and the healthcare that the both sector show thr rising but the other 2 sector not that much grown compare to the others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response is severely under-length, containing only 107 words compared to the mandatory minimum of 150 words. This significantly limits the student's ability to fully select, report, and compare the main features of the graph. While the writer attempts to mention all four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) and notes some overall trends—such as agriculture falling down and healthcare rising—the description is too brief, lacks precise data points, and fails to provide a clear, comprehensive overview. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed, which caps the score for this criterion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response lacks proper paragraphing, presented as a single short block of text. Cohesive devices are minimal, awkward, or inappropriate (e.g., 'as we saw the line graph', 'firstly we compare', 'and the secondly we comparong'). The logical progression of ideas is hindered by abrupt shifts between comparisons without clear signposting or referencing. While there is a basic attempt to structure the comparison of sectors, the overall organization is faulty and fails to achieve a coherent flow. Pronoun referencing and connective phrases need substantial improvement to guide the reader effectively.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and restricted (e.g., 'rising up', 'falling down', 'sector of the economy'). There are several spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'manufacure' instead of manufacturing, 'reatil' instead of retail, and 'comparong'. The student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary (agriculture, healthcare, manufacturing), but the range is limited and inadequate for a higher band. The lexical errors and lack of less common vocabulary items heavily constrain the precision and flexibility of the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of poorly constructed or run-on simple sentences. There are frequent, noticeable errors in tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions (e.g., 'manufacturing is decreasing on the other hand the reatil is increasing after the 1980 as well', 'the health sector every 20 year was rising up'). Punctuation is virtually absent, with no periods or commas to separate clauses. These frequent structural errors and lack of complex sentences cause difficulty for the reader and reflect a weak control of basic English grammar.

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