Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.The manufacturing jobs was at its peak about 20% in 1980 but now facing decline after 1980.Number of jobs in agricultural department decreases since 1960.On the other hand there are number of vacancies increasing in retail sector day by day .The Healthcare sector has now more number of jobs as compare to back in 1960s
The manufacturing sector starts with a high number around 15% back in 1960s and also reached 20% in 1980s which was its peak but after that the decline start of this industry and number of jobs decreasing less than 20% in 2000 and in 2020 te percentage fells down to between 12% to 13%.
The Retail Sector had very few jobs around 5% in 1960 but the ratio increases every year and in 1980 its make a good progress and move to 19%.while in 2000 the opportunities again rises to 15% and in 2020 in this sector there are number of jobs for citizens of USA and the ratio reaches more than 15% which is quite good for retail industry
The Agricultural department have very few jobs in 2000 around 1% to 2%.the sector was not provide much jobs sices 1960 as after reaches its highest value 5% its continously decline and ranges between 2%-3% between 1980 and 2000
The Healthcare Department starts wth low number of jobs in 1960s but increasing since 1980s as rise 10% in 1980 after that its again grows and reaches 12% in 2000 and in 2020 the numbers rises again up to 15%.This Sector has alot of job opportunities
the conclusion is the healthcare and retails sectors did not provide more opportunities in 1960 but the both sector continously grows and create multiple jobs every year.On the other hand Both Manufacturing and agricultural sectors are now on the verge of its low employement as they were at their peak between 1960s to 1980s
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to report main features and comparisons. However, the student misinterprets the y-axis units, consistently referring to percentages (e.g., '20%') instead of millions of jobs, which is a significant factual error based on the visual data. Furthermore, data points are occasionally imprecise or contradictory across paragraphs (for instance, agricultural jobs are variously stated as declining since 1960 and later as being around 1% to 2% in 2000). While an overview is present in both the introduction and conclusion, the inaccurate reading of the scale and generalisations pull the task response down. It addresses the prompt reasonably well in structure, but accuracy in data reporting falls short of higher bands.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text is divided into logical paragraphs, starting with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs for each sector, and concluding with a summary. However, the progression within paragraphs feels somewhat disjointed due to awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions (e.g., 'On the other hand there are number of vacancies increasing...'). Cohesive devices are used, but referencing is sometimes unclear or repetitive. Paragraphing is present and helps structure the essay, but overall cohesive flow suffers from run-on sentences and inadequate punctuation control.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student attempts a range of vocabulary related to economic trends, such as 'decline', 'peak', 'opportunities', and 'employement'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'ratio increases', 'agricultural department', and spelling errors like 'employement' and 'sices'. Uncommon lexical items are attempted but frequently misused or imprecise. The vocabulary is minimally adequate for the task, but errors in word formation and collocation cause some distraction for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, though complex structures are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly concerning subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The manufacturing jobs was', 'the sector was not provide'), missing articles, and punctuation issues (such as missing spaces after periods and inconsistent capitalisation). While the meaning is generally understandable despite these errors, the high frequency of grammatical slips prevents the response from achieving a higher band score.
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