Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph represents information releted the number of works in four fields of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it can be noticed, number of jobs in four sectors of the economy were manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. The highest number of people did jobs in a manufacturing field. However, in agriculture sector the lowest worker did work in agriculture.
To begin with, in 1960, 15 millions people did works in a manufacturing field, whereas 5 millions worker did jobs on a retail as well as, in agriculture sectors. Not only but, in healthcare sector worker did the less works around 3 millions. Moreover, in 1980, in agriculture sectore the of workers ratio decreased but, other three jobs fields number were increase.
On the other hand, in 2020, eventually, every four sector's number were final stage such as, in manufacturing 13 millions people did jobs, in retail and in healthcare sectors same 16 millions people did work, and in agriculture fields 3 millions worker did jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to address the task by reporting information from the line graph regarding four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020. However, the response contains several inaccuracies in data interpretation. For example, the student states that agriculture had 5 million workers in 1960 when the graph shows 6 million, and claims that healthcare started at 3 million when it was actually around 2 million. Furthermore, the overview paragraph is poorly constructed, merely listing the sectors rather than highlighting the main overarching trends, such as the dramatic growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in agriculture. The body paragraphs struggle to convey clear comparative statements, resulting in a partial and confused response that meets the minimum band 5 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response shows an attempt to organise information into paragraphs, starting with an introduction and moving into body details. However, the overall progression is heavily disrupted by awkward linking and unclear referencing. Phrases like 'To begin with', 'Not only but', and 'On the other hand' are used mechanically or incorrectly, hindering logical flow. The sentences within paragraphs often feel disjointed rather than building on one another coherently. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas lacks clear logical structure, placing the response firmly at band 5.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
Vocabulary usage is very limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic phrasing such as 'did jobs', 'workers', and 'people'. There are frequent word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'number of works', 'manufacturing field', and 'the of workers ratio'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with little success or accuracy. Spelling is generally acceptable, but vocabulary control is insufficient for higher bands, leading to frequent comprehension issues that place this criterion at band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The student demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. Complex structures are attempted but are generally faulty, as seen in constructions like 'the highest number of people did jobs in a manufacturing field. However, in agriculture sector the lowest worker did work in agriculture.' Grammatical errors are frequent throughout the text, including missing articles, incorrect prepositions, tense confusion, and subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'every four sector's number were final stage'). These persistent errors frequently cause strain for the reader.
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