Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the number of working sector in four different categories - manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in a specific country(United States) from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clearly shown that retail and healthcare sector were experienced a significant growth through the period, while manufacturing was declined marginally after a two decade.
In 1960, manufacturing was accounted for providing a largest number of jobs at 15 million, which was reached a peak by 1980 from 15 to 20 million and then fell down slightly to 13 million at the end year. Similarly, people who were involved in agriculture sector recorded nearly 6 million in beginning period ,however dropped minimally by 1980 and reached to 3 million in 2020.
In contrast, healthcare sector was the least recorded in job involvement at 3 million in 1960, which was rapidly peaked at 16 million in 2020. Likewise, retail sector was continuously rose from 5 million to 10, 15 and 16 million respectively through the time period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features, trends, and comparisons across the four economic sectors. The overview correctly identifies that retail and healthcare experienced significant growth while manufacturing declined after two decades. Key data points are accurately cited, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare reaching 16 million by 2020. However, there are minor inaccuracies in the initial data points, such as stating healthcare started at 3 million when it was closer to 2 million, and retail starting at 5 million instead of 6 million. These slight misreadings of the gridlines prevent a higher band, but the overall task is well covered.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is logically organized with a clear overall progression. It begins with an introduction, follows with an overview paragraph, and then groups the body paragraphs logically—comparing manufacturing and agriculture in the third paragraph, and healthcare and retail in the fourth. Paragraphing is used appropriately. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, as seen in awkward transitions like 'at the end year' and 'beginning period'. Referencing is generally clear, but overuse or awkward positioning of cohesive devices prevents the text from achieving a higher band score.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'fluctuate', 'significant growth', 'peaked', and 'continuously rose'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text, such as 'number of working sector' instead of 'workforce' or 'number of jobs', 'fell down slightly', and 'job involvement'. Word formation errors also occur, such as 'manufacturing was declined' and 'retail sector was continuously rose'. These errors do not impede overall communication but show limited precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some attempts at subordination and relative clauses, such as in 'manufacturing was accounted for providing a largest number of jobs at 15 million, which was reached a peak...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with passive voice and verb tense combinations, such as 'was accounted for providing', 'was reached a peak', 'agriculture sector recorded nearly 6 million in beginning period ,however dropped', and 'healthcare sector was the least recorded'. Punctuation and spacing errors also occur. These errors occasionally disrupt the flow but meaning remains recoverable.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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