Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the amount of employement in four fields of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that healthcare recorded the sharpest rise over these years. But, the most noticeable trend of declining were seen in the manufacturing jobs in the US. Conversely, the retail jobs soar up rapidly and agricultural jobs considerably decline in the US between these years.

Meanwhile, the retail jobs started at 6 Millions and noticeably rose in 1960 to touched the peakest point in the year 2020. However, the healthcare employement began from 2.5 Millions and steadily soar up from 1960 and reached the highest figure at 16 Millions in 2020.

In contrast, the most significant decline was seen in the manufacturing jobs from 15 Million in 1960 to a peak of 20 Million in 1980 but then went down from 20 Millions to 13 Millions from1980 to 2020. Moreover, the agricultural employement were also saw the sharpest plummeted in the year 1960 at 6 Millions to 2.5 Millions in the last year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student covers all four economic sectors presented in the chart over the sixty-year period, successfully identifying main trends such as the steady growth of healthcare and retail jobs, alongside the decline in agriculture and the fluctuating pattern of manufacturing. An overview is provided in the second paragraph, capturing the primary movements. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting and terminology: for example, the student states that retail jobs started at 6 million and reached a peak in 2020, but the chart shows retail actually reaching its peak around 2000 or plateauing, and manufacturing peaking in 1980 at 20 million rather than being solely a declining trend throughout. These minor misinterpretations of data pull the score down to Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is structured into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors, creating a coherent overall arrangement. Transitional phrases such as 'Overall', 'Meanwhile', and 'In contrast' are used to guide the reader through the data comparisons. However, paragraphing is somewhat disorganized, with body information split awkwardly, and cohesive devices can feel mechanical or slightly repetitive ('the retail jobs', 'the healthcare employment'). Referencing is mostly clear, but the logical progression within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by grammatical awkwardness. This performance aligns well with the Band 6 descriptors for cohesion and paragraphing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate for a task on economic trends, using words such as 'employement' (spelling error for employment), 'soar up', 'decline', and 'plummeted'. There are several noticeable lexical and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'employement', 'peakest', and awkward collocations like 'the agricultural employement were also saw the sharpest plummeted'. While the range is adequate to convey the basic message, these frequent errors in word formation and spelling prevent the response from achieving a higher band, placing it firmly at Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like 'it is clear that healthcare recorded...' and 'while the retail jobs started at...'. However, grammatical control is weak, with multiple persistent errors such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the agricultural employement were also saw'), incorrect verb tenses ('trend of declining were seen'), and redundant prepositions. Many complex attempts contain structural faults that can cause mild confusion for the reader, though they rarely obscure the overall meaning completely. This corresponds to a Band 5.0 level of grammatical accuracy.

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