Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
the line graph illustrates the information about the different types of occupation in four categories of the budget in the US from 1960 to 2020 over all manufacturing sector has recorded highest jobs in the 1980.
To begin with Manufacturing category at 1960 it started with 15 million percentage and later it went up to twenty Million It has fallen very large percent among all the four years and it eventually went down to fourteen million in last cantury Retail sector has begin with five million and it climb to ten million in 1980 cantury where as health care also Respectively Same together they were divided slightly in 2000 changed a little bit But in 2020 cantury the Accountated percentage was same Remained constant with fifteen million.
Turning to Agriculture sector the jobs were started in 1980 cantury with four million perent which is very least
and in all these categories and it
remained same in 2000 period
also It fallen dramatically in
the last period of 2020
as reorod with 2 million
perentage.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to address the task by reporting information about the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the student states that manufacturing went down to 'fourteen million in last cantury' (the correct figure is approximately 13 million) and describes figures using the term 'percentage' instead of numbers in millions (e.g., '15 million percentage' and '2 million perentage'). An overview is attempted at the end of the first paragraph ('manufacturing sector has recorded highest jobs in the 1980'), but overall, the task is only partially addressed due to data errors and limited development of main trends. This aligns with Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response is divided into three paragraphs, including an introduction and two body paragraphs. However, paragraphing is poorly handled, with the overview awkwardly attached to the first paragraph without proper separation or punctuation. Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, and occasionally misused (e.g., 'To begin with', 'Turning to Agriculture sector'). There is a lack of clear logical progression and referencing is frequently unclear, making the text difficult to follow at times. These features are characteristic of Band 4.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently revolving around numbers and sectors. There is a misuse of lexical terms, most notably repeating the word 'percentage' when referring to absolute numbers in millions (e.g., 'four million perent'). Spelling errors are common, such as 'cantury', 'Accountated', and 'reorod'. The range of vocabulary is limited and inadequate for a fully coherent academic report, restricting the score to Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The student demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. Most sentences are simple or poorly constructed attempts at complex forms that fail due to missing punctuation and run-on structures (e.g., 'and in all these categories and it remained same in 2000 period also It fallen dramatically in the last period of 2020 as reorod with 2 million perentage'). Punctuation is largely absent or misused, with capitalisation errors and missing terminal full stops. Grammatical errors are frequent and regularly strain the reader, fitting the Band 4 descriptor.
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