Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about the different types of occupation in four categories of the budget in the US from 1960 to 2020. Overall manufacturing sector has recorded highest jobs in the 1980.

To begin with Manufacturing category at 1960 it started with 15 million percentage and later it went up to twenty million. It has been very large percent among all the four years and it eventually went down to fourteen million in last century. Retail sector has begin with five million and it climb to Ten million in 1980 century where as healthcare also respectively same together they were divided slightly in 2000 changed a little bit. But 2020 century the Accountated percentage was same Remained constant with fifteen million.

Turning to Agriculture sector the jobs were started in 1980 century with four million percent which is very least and in all these categories and it remained same in 2000 period also. It fallen dramatically in the last period of 2020 as Record with 2 million percentage.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to cover the main trends in the line graph, providing an overview and mentioning data points for manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. However, the student struggles with accurate data reporting and interpretation. For instance, stating that manufacturing started with '15 million percentage' demonstrates confusion with units and metrics, as data points are in millions of jobs, not percentages. Furthermore, there are several factual inaccuracies regarding specific years and values, such as claiming the retail and healthcare sectors were 'divided slightly in 2000' or that agriculture started in 1980 with four million. While the task is partially addressed and key sectors are identified, the frequent inaccuracies in data interpretation and imprecise descriptions restrict the score to Band 4.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The essay uses some basic cohesive devices and paragraph breaks to structure the response into an introduction and body paragraphs. However, the overall organization is hampered by confusing transitions and erratic time references, such as 'in 1980 century' and 'in last century'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal logical progression is severely disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing ('respectively same together they were divided slightly'). Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or misused, leading to a disjointed reading experience. This aligns closely with the Band 4.0 descriptors for coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, frequently misapplying terms such as 'percentage' instead of 'million' or 'jobs'. Words are often misused or combined incorrectly, as seen in phrases like 'Accountated percentage was same' and 'jobs were started... with four million percent'. Spelling errors and incorrect word choices—such as 'begin' instead of 'began', 'climb' instead of 'climbed', and 'fallen' instead of 'fell'—cause strain for the reader. The lexical range is limited and inadequate for precise reporting of statistical data, matching the criteria for a Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response, featuring a very limited range of structures and frequent, heavy errors. Most complex sentence attempts are faulty, resulting in run-on or ungrammatical sentences like 'Retail sector has begin with five million and it climb to Ten million in 1980 century where as healthcare also respectively same together they were divided slightly in 2000 changed a little bit.' Tense consistency is poorly maintained, switching incorrectly between past and present forms. Errors in punctuation, capitalization, and basic syntax are pervasive and frequently distort the intended meaning, placing the performance at Band 4.0.

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