Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The grap illustrates information about the number of occupation in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. There are four sectors of jobs such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.
Overall, manufacturing was popular job in economy, whereas retail is second popular job in sector of economy. Moreover, agriculture at the begginning is higer and slightly down, while healthcare is least unpopular but at the end of the period significantly increased.
1960, manufacturing is 15 million to dramatically rose to 20millon. In contrast agriculture sector is only 2 million in the US economy. Moreover,retail and healthcare number of jobs is same 6 million.
In 2020, manufaturing is gradually down and 13 million jobs in economy. The significant change in healthcare and retail 16 million number of jobs in this sector. In contrast, healthcare is approximately fall 2 million jobs in economy US.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response makes an attempt to summarise the main features of the graph, identifying all four sectors and tracing some general movements over the 1960–2020 period. However, there are notable inaccuracies in reading the data; for example, the student writes that retail and healthcare started at 6 million in 1960, whereas healthcare actually started at 2 million. Furthermore, the overview is rather vague and contains grammatical errors ('manufacturing was popular job in economy'). Most importantly, the response falls just short of the 150-word minimum, containing 147 words, which incurs a penalty under official length requirements. While the key trends are partially addressed, the data misinterpretations and under-length status pull the score down.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, attempting an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the logical progression is hindered by poor transitions and confusing sentence structures, such as 'moreover, agriculture at the begginning is higer and slightly down, while healthcare is least unpopular'. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, and referencing between sentences is often unclear. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs is frequently faulty or mechanical, leading to a choppy and disjointed reading experience that fails to guide the reader smoothly through the comparative data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The lexical range is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms such as 'job', 'sector', 'economy', 'popular', and 'increase'. There are noticeable spelling errors ('begginning', 'higer', 'manufaturing') and awkward word choices or collocations, such as 'least unpopular' or 'grap illustrates'. The vocabulary is just about adequate to communicate the basic topic, but frequent lexical inaccuracies and a lack of less common phrasing restrict the score to a band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mainly of simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex clauses. Grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions throughout the text, such as 'manufacturing is 15 million to dramatically rose to 20millon' and 'retail and healthcare number of jobs is same'. Punctuation is also erratic. These persistent errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader and prevent the formation of a majority of error-free sentences.
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