Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the rate of employment in four different economic sectors of United States from 1960 to 2020.
The Manufacturing sectors which has the highest level of employment till 1980 showed a downward trend and becomes the third last job offering industry by 2020. whereas the agricultural industry which had only 5 millions jobs to offer in 1960, dropped tremendously by 1980 and becomes the least employed sector of 2020.
Admittedly, The healthcare sectors displayed the commendable rise in jobs, undoubtedly the sector was the least performing industry in 1960 with roughly 2 millions job in total but within 40 years span it becomes one of the highest job providing industries by offering jobs to 15 millions people by 2020. however, the retail industry which had around 5 millions jobs in 1960 followed a upward trend and reached up to its zenith by providing the same number of jobs as healthcare sector in 2020.
overall, the manufacturing industry which was at its peak initially becomes the second job offering industry while the sector which had the least lobs to offer becomes the highest employed sector till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, satisfying the main requirements of Academic Task 1. However, there are notable inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the student states that the agricultural industry 'had only 5 millions jobs to offer in 1960', whereas the chart shows it started at 6 million, and later claims manufacturing became the 'third last job offering industry' and retail reached 'the same number of jobs as healthcare sector in 2020' (16 million each). The overview contains some confusion ('the sector which had the least lobs to offer becomes the highest employed sector'). Because of these inaccuracies in data reporting and the somewhat muddled overview, the response earns a band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response is divided into logical paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs for specific sectors, and an overall summary. Cohesive devices and linkers are used throughout, though some are awkward or overly conversational (e.g., 'Admittedly', 'whereas', 'however'). Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the concluding paragraph where pronouns and relative clauses create confusion about which sector is being referred to. Paragraphing is adequate, but overall progression and logical flow are occasionally disrupted by mechanical or inaccurate cohesive ties. This aligns well with the band 6.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms related to economic sectors and trends (e.g., 'downward trend', 'highest level of employment', 'industry'). However, there are frequent word choice and collocation errors, such as 'rate of employment' instead of 'number of jobs', 'least employed sector', 'least performing industry', and 'lobs' instead of 'jobs'. Spelling is mostly fine aside from typographical slips. Less common vocabulary is attempted with varying success. This performance fits comfortably into the band 6.0 category.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures (e.g., using relative clauses like 'which had the highest level of employment'). However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in verb tense, agreement, and auxiliary usage, such as 'The Manufacturing sectors which has', 'becomes the third last', and 'displayed the commendable rise' (unnecessary article). Capitalisation and punctuation are also occasionally faulty (e.g., starting sentences with 'whereas' or 'however' with improper comma splices or capitalisation). These errors occasionally cause slight confusion for the reader, leading to a band 5.5 score.
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